An epidemic has swept the Syracuse University community. Students are entering the Ernie Davis Dining Hall’s sandwich line only to find out that literally years have gone by when they finally receive their sandwich. 

             “It was nuts!” commented former Syracuse student Kristina Barvara. “I showed up at noon one day my Sophomore year to get something to eat, which was a pretty busy time and I guess the wait was pretty long. I thought maybe 20 minutes went by. I texted a little bit, people watched. I would never had guessed it had been 3 years. Never.”

             The Ernie Davis sandwich line continues to baffle scientists who are researching the possibility of a time warp in the new dining center. “Uh, well, we really have no idea what’s going on here. It is a pretty long line, they have like 2 people making sandwiches for a line that wraps past Sbarro, but I don’t understand how this much time is elapsing before the kids get their food. It should be the 8th wonder of the world!”

              When asked if she was upset over losing such a large chunk of her life in the sandwich line, Miss Barvara responded: “I was, actually, but then I found out that I graduated with a 3.0 GPA…That’s crazy. I had like a 2.4 when I got in line. I should have stopped going to class as a freshman. Do you think they’ll still let me have my sandwich for free even though I don’t go here anymore?”

               Words to live by.