Marist has instituted a new policy regarding popcorn-making:
all students who wish to make popcorn must do so before two o’clock in the


Studies show that 99% of all fire alarms taking place in
dormitories occur at an ungodly hour (the average fire alarm sounds around 4:17
AM) and during ungodly weather. The same study showed that 87% of file alarms
are caused by students who are overworked or overtired or overdrunk making
popcorn in the middle of the night. Regardless of the fact that popcorn should
be popped for no longer than three minutes, these students neglect their
popcorn bags, sometimes leaving them in the microwave for hours.


The day after one of these late-night fire alarms occurred
at Leo Hall, sophomore Eric O’Leary admitted, “I guess I put the bag in the
microwave for way too long. In fact, we were outside because of the fire alarm
for about forty-five minutes, and when we got back inside around 4:15, the
microwave was still going. The bag had pretty much disintegrated.”


Laura Denbaum, a resident advisor on the third floor or
Champagnat, has experienced the most popcorn-related fires of anyone else. “I
can pretty much tell when it’s going to happen,” claims Denbaum. “I even have a
checklist. “Is it rainy?’ Check. “Did I just start to fall asleep?’ Check. “Do
I hear someone pressing the microwave buttons?’ Checkmate. Honestly, how hard
is it to make popcorn?”


Marist officials are also looking into banning the popping
of popcorn during popular hours of showering.