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Facebook Is Down: Millions of College Students Friendless
On September 23rd, 2010 the entire world saw the near sighting of the apocalypse. Facebook, as we know it, was down.Â
Millions of college students attempted to login, only to be met with a blank page that read “DNS Error” – a term only iSchool students could understand.
“I didn’t know what to do!” exclaimed Helen Beltzer, a junior political-science major. “I just slumped down in my seat and started crying… I.. I… I was friendless,” she somberly cried.
Other students began to wonder what this meant for their lives.Â “Does this still mean I have 1,326 friends,” asked Beta Zeta Eta member Jessica Vitalo.
“I mean, I’m so used to sitting on my computer all day, hitting the refresh button, waiting for status updates,” said Josh Welsh. “How the fuck am I gonna know that Suzie Brown is ‘going to the movies with my girliesss!’?”
CuseMyCampus.com owners Brian Weinreich and Alex Piliouras enjoyed the crash, as hundred of students instead turned to their website. “Hey, um… it’s really great. Facebook should go down more often. We haven’t seen this much traffic since we posted naked pictures of Otto.”
While panic struck through much of the campus, some students explained that they were happy the site crashed. William Winston, a senior Biology major explained, “See, when something like this happens, it’s good for everyone. We can now realize life still exists.”
Update 12:30 pm –> CuseMyCampus now has thousands of users.
Update 5:30 pm –> Facebooks servers have been restored. Website is up and running.
Update 6:15 pm –> CuseMyCampus now has zero users.