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tagged freshmen »
College Freshman Meme Kid Graduates; Still Naive and Full of Optimism
If you’ve been following your college’s “Memes” page on Facebook, you’re probably familiar with UNH student Griffin Kiritsy, whose fresh-faced, pathetically earnest smile is the butt of the popular College Freshman meme joke. To put it into non-internet nerd language: college students use his photo as a template to share brief, humorous anecdotes about things... MORE »
New Fraternity Pledge Shocked to Realize Brothers Lied to Him During Rush
Now that Syracuse University’s IFC spring rush period has finally come to an end, aspiring Greeks around campus have officially made the coveted transition from GDIs to worthless maggot pledges, prepared for the toughest physical and mental challenge of their college careers. Delta Theta pledge Marc Nason, however, was caught off guard to learn that... MORE »
Thoughts of the Ill Willed Philosopher
The fluorescent sunlight breaks through the shades of my dorm room forcing my eyes to squint and squeal for relief from the brightness. Snow came and went in a single day. The late January morning day feels like a spring afternoon. Wearing nothing but my ex-girlfriend’s panties, I raise the shades of the window to... MORE »
USC Class of 2016 Wishlist
It’s that time again for college applications to roll into the admissions office at USC ““ but one Trojan in the Class of “16 has already been announced. After deferring for a year, iCarly star Miranda Cosgrove will attend in the fall as both student and working actress. This got me thinking. Hollywood-friendly USC has... MORE »
Occupy Library: Freshman Edition
A dark cloud is looming over the Syracuse University campus. A storm is coming, and its name is finals. Well, the storm actually prefers to be called Helga, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s also a metaphorical storm because it hasn’t snowed in Syracuse yet. Sophomores, juniors, and seniors have experienced the wrath of... MORE »
What is a Snow?
Open up any weather app, website, or television station and you’ll see the same thing: it’s supposed to snow Halloween weekend. Now, this isn’t a big thing for upperclassmen. They’re used to these winter wonderland predictions. For freshmen however, the concept of snow has seemed to vanish from their minds as if they have... MORE »
Freshmen Finally Learn That Fall Break is a Myth
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Loch Ness monster, a good Nicholas Cage movie, Fall break. What do all of these things have in common? They’re not real. Come on, you didn’t really think you were going to get an entire 4 days off in the middle of the Fall semester did you? “But Yom... MORE »
Zeus Kicks Out Freshmen, Takes Back Mt. Olympus
DPS was called to the Flint and Day halls Sunday morning when a mentally disabled patient from the VA Hospital, referring to himself only as “Zeus”, fled the hospital and stormed Mt. Olympus. Samantha Jipz, Flint’s Resident Security Advisor, prevented him from entering the building when she asked, “Do you have your student ID?” “Zeus”... MORE »
Career Fair Employers Hire Syracuse University’s Entire Freshman Class
In what has proven to be the upset of the week, the employers at Syracuse University’s career fair have decided to go in a “different direction” this year. Resumes from experienced Juniors and Seniors could be seen burning in trash cans throughout the Carrier Dome while employers literally chased after local freshmen. “We’re... MORE »