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1) For all you Resident Advisors, I’ve been there. I get it. You have to close this campus down and invariably there will be some asshole who doesn’t want to leave the dorm by 6pm Sunday afternoon which means you won’t get out of here until long after your sanity and patience have skidaddled. More... MORE »
It’s getting to be that wonderful time of the year. Flowers are blooming. Finals aren’t quite here yet. And Rick Santorum is beginning to show his true colors (or hatred for people thereof). Ah, spring time. And of course, with spring comes a dreaded time for high school seniors, anxiously awaiting notice from a university... MORE »
In the aftermath of the worldwide print media collapse, only one news source stands between the residents of Schurz Residence Hall and a media blackout. Rather, the resident run news publication The Schurz Tentacle would provide a beacon of news in an otherwise black abyss if it ever got published. The Tentacle gets its seemingly... MORE »
The very foundation of college life was rocked today when Dave Dover, an attractive freshman male just like any other, calmly announced to his friends and colleagues over breakfast that all he really wants is a serious, long-term relationship with a classy girl and will settle for nothing less. “I’m a young guy that’s just... MORE »
Alan Panzer, Syracuse Class of 2008, misses room 206 in Sadler Hall. “That place was the best,” says Panzer, who lived in a split double. “I had windows! And a desk! And I could walk around! I remember at the time being so angry and thinking, “This is the tiniest room in the world.’ “I... MORE »
Start every day off with a hot coffee and a showing of “The Human Centipede” on your shared TV. Refuse to wear headphones and make sure you’re in all 8am classes. Find out when his/her class discussions are. Go to them and drunkenly make fun of him/her when he/she starts to talk. Phrases like “you... MORE »
1. Make a drinking game out of your floor meetings. 1 sip every time the phrase ‘campus community’ is used. 2 sips and high fives all around for the word ‘respect.’ 2. Keep fish in your room. Play a recording of dogs barking loudly whenever you know your R.A. is in the hallway. If he/she... MORE »