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Article by Cailin Lowry
November 8, 2012

The Five Types of Political Facebook Users

 In case this is literally the first thing you’ve seen in the past 24-ish hours, let me deliver the news to you: President Barack Obama is still President Barack Obama and it’ll be another four years until we call him former President Barack Obama. Michelle is still around (yay!), we’ll see Malia hit the big... MORE »

Article by Alex Rosenthal
November 6, 2012

Local Uninformed Idiot Guilted Into Voting By Facebook Friends

Election Day: Local dimwit John Thurpwood was guilt-tripped by his Facebook friends into visiting his designated polling place and voting in the US presidential election today, despite not knowing anything about the candidates or their positions on various political issues. “I wasn’t really going to vote since I’m not into politics and I didn’t watch... MORE »

Article by Dan Kropa
October 25, 2012

Most Annoying Status Updates

1) The Boyfriend Report John Smith is–thinking about his girlfriend CONSTANTLY!!! <3 Do you realize every time you put something like this on your wall, you make it that much harder for anyone to feel bad for you when the relationship ends two days later? 2) The Vague Expression of Passive Aggression John Smith is–Some... MORE »

Article by Crispy Spumoni
September 29, 2012

Facebook Timeline is Publicly Displaying Private Notes

Due to a suspected recent tech glitch, a number of Facebook users have begun seeing private messages from years ago published on their Timelines for all to see. (Editor’s note: The controversial new Facebook Timeline design allows users to browse a profile’s history by year. When users click on a year, Facebook displays all the... MORE »

Article by Anonymous
April 19, 2012

Syracuse University Class of 2016

Dear Campus Basement readers, Are you curious to see who the incoming freshmen are? Do you want to hear how young and innocent they all are? Are you reminiscing when you were still in high school and were anticipating Cuse? Well you are in luck because I have recently gone undercover posing as an incoming... MORE »

Article by LukeStarnes
April 3, 2012

April Fools: Mark Zuckerberg wins lottery

Last week, the Mega Millions jackpot hit a record high, reaching $640 million. Over the weekend, it appeared that the pot would be split between three winners from across the country. Few rejoiced and millions were left saddened that they went home empty-handed for the thousandth time. However, it was recently uncovered that there was... MORE »

Article by Eric Pratt
April 1, 2012

Make Some April Fools!

It’s that day again, dear readers.  It is a day of enlightenment, for us all to share in new beliefs.  Today, gullible is written on the ceiling, genetically-engineered winged pigs have escaped their containment tanks, and HBO canceled Game of Thrones on a whim at 12:00 AM.  Really! Anyone with half a brain can become... MORE »

Article by J.D.Basement
March 19, 2012

Dear Ramapo Students Who Write “Dear ____________” Facebook Statuses:

Stop. Please stop? Pretty please with an attention craving Ramapo sophomore girl on top? We get it… your air conditioner isn’t turning on properly. I promise you, however, that this is not some elaborate ploy by the maintenance men at Ramapo to piss “only you” off. And to all those “only me’s” out there that... MORE »

Article by eeeeeeeee2
March 19, 2012

Victims of Instagram cite disappointment with spring break photos as symptom

“I was having the time of my life, yknow? Off on the beaches of Puerto Rico, thinking all these inevitably gorgeous pictures I am taking will surely come out wonderfully…And then, I looked back at them and I couldn’t believe my eyes.” What junior Felicity Coughman is describing is a recent affliction among iPhone/iPad and... MORE »