tagged dps »

Article by hmerkt
October 21, 2012

Professor Contemplates Ending It All Saying, “Those Kids Laughing in Lecture Are Right.”

Saturday night, as international relations professor George Witter sat in his leather armchair sipping a 12 year old red wine and watched one of the first copies of his book about the anarchistic nature of the international system slowly be devoured by the flame in his fire place, he began to think about the insignificance... MORE »

Article by NoahBakst
March 27, 2012

North Campus Cougar Sighting

I can’t believe the University emailed this. Whether it’s the modern day Mrs. Robinson or Marion Wormer it matters not, if you’re a dude pulling an all nighter at the dude, be careful.     MORE »

Article by Becca Grumet
March 22, 2012

Cool Story Bro: “I should have clotheslined him”

A kid, maybe 14 or 15, was bolting towards me. Like, at top speed. And just like in the movies, time seemed to slow down. I couldn’t move. My thoughts were all: “That’s weird. He’s running like, really fast. He probably has to catch a bus. God I really want a Coke Zero. French fries. Jon Hamm. Wait, what--” MORE »

Article by Alex R
February 21, 2012

And on your left we see……….

Admit it: you, like everybody else, went on a supervised tour of Syracuse University some time in your past. We all remember being herded like cattle around the quad, being told constantly that the steps of Carnegie Library led nowhere as our parents embarrassed us in front of our elder classmates. Judging by the excess... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
February 18, 2012

Bike Traffic Safety: Written For and By (Insane) Bikers

Without laws our society would crumble like so many cookies. Our campus bike traffic is abnormally apocalyptic and Highlander-y, so we here at Campus Basement want to say: good job! That’s how you do it ““ mow down pedestrians/each other, take no prisoners but take the heads for trophies. For those who need help remembering... MORE »

Article by Kevin Cardoni
February 10, 2012

Centro Announces, “Big Changes On The Way”

Centro has announced that changes will be made to its South Campus and Connective Corridor buses after vehicles struck pedestrians on three separate occasions in the past week. A spokesperson for Centro had this to say about the incidents; “We have been criticized in the past for the lack of timely arrival of our buses,... MORE »

Article by Cailin Lowry
February 2, 2012

Freshman Sees Nipple, Urges DPS to Expand Crime Alerts

Despite a relaxing day at Manhattan Beach and two trips to Yogurtland, last weekend was tough for freshman Leslie Boudreaux. Between slurps of her Ground Zero milkshake (Everything But the Girl Scout, a solid, if not metaphorical choice), Leslie tells her story. “I was behind Leavey, on my way back from the Lyon Center when... MORE »

Article by Leah Folta
January 22, 2012

Week in Review: I Want Newsual Healing

Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines USC Quidditch team will face UCLA on January 29 : A longstanding rivalry that holds a certain magic for some. And an amount of politely hiding embarrassment for their families Daylong Bike Summit included new draft of bike safety recommendations : Suggestions about noticing stop... MORE »

Article by Piliour
November 29, 2011

Syracuse Police Under Investigation for Fraud

On Tuesday, the Syracuse Police Department suffered another huge hit: the Onondaga County District Attorney’s office opened an investigation into whether or not SPD is, in fact, a real police squad. “They’ve been around for hundreds of years, yet not once have I seen anyone arrested or, for that matter, even investigated,” said DA Kurt... MORE »