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“I’m a reasonable man. I have no issues with a sorority girl loving her big. I get that it’s the 21st century. I’ll tell you what I do have a problem with: her shoving it in my face, and down my throat.” Said the student who wished to remain anonymous. “Okay, you love your big.... MORE »
With the news of Emma Roberts and John Cusack filming at Syracuse University buzzing around campus, many students were interested in much more than just spotting the two stars. Allegedly, Newhouse student after Newhouse student have approached the two “Adult World” stars hoping to cast one of them as the star for their TRF class... MORE »
In a strange and surprising turn of events Sunday afternoon, Syracuse University announced that they would be ‘fixing’ the university in response to the popular SU memes page. “We had no idea that tuition was so high. We were positively stunned when we were informed by Scumbag Steve.” said a representative from Syracuse University. “I... MORE »
Dunkin’ Donuts by Marshall St.–So you’re a purist, eh? The one in Schine just doesn’t meet all your caffeine-related needs? I bet you complain that the Taco Bell in Kimmel “just isn’t the same.” Well, it isn’t, but it’s not like you’ve ever been there sober anyway. Starbucks on Marshall St.–Arguably the best cup of... MORE »
1. On every essay exam, write 4 different ‘options’ as answers. On multiple choice exams, write long descriptions of your answer in the margins. Tell her you just don’t ‘get’ testing. 2. No matter what the subject matter is, whenever a question is asked in class, always relate your answer to Harry Potter. Hitler—>Voldemort. Jesus—>Harry.... MORE »
In response to a recent attempt by other Syracuse dorms to overthrow the residents of the posh residence hall, Ernie Davis, a competition has been organized that will ultimately kill two residents of each of the other SU residence halls. “We really wanted to make this competition our own. There are too many humanitarian groups... MORE »
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! Peel Otto open. Crawl inside. Burrow yourself. Were talking two birds here: food and warmth. Let the force be with you. Pay a group of freshmen... MORE »