- This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite!
- Peel Otto open. Crawl inside. Burrow yourself. Were talking two birds here: food and warmth. Let the force be with you.
- Pay a group of freshmen to breathe on you. The geekier the freshmen, the more likely it is they’re natural mouth-breathers. Let the warmness commence.*
- Go abroad. Every semester. At the University of Florida.
- Schedule all your classes to be in the same building. Move into that building. Or switch to the Architecture school. Either option has the same outcome.
- Sell your soul in exchange for a giant hair dryer to be placed directly above Syracuse.
- Get someone to sit on your shoulders and gently urinate on you. Then you do the same for them. This could lead to other ways to stay warm š
- Build a giant bubble around the University. Open Nancy Cantor’s front door. Enjoy free heat.
- Elect idiots into office. Do horrible deeds. Waste money. There is one direct benefit of the city “going to hell.”Ā
- Change the tilt of Earth’s axis so that Syracuse gets more direct light. Yeah, I got a C in Astronomy; u jealy?
- Enter your dining hall, pull down your pants, and jump on top of a hot bowl of soup. Refuse to leave.
*Utilize at your own risk during flu season
