The
term “big man on campus” is thrown around a lot. But nobody exemplifies this
persona more than one man. Wheather you know his name or not he has been in
your dorm room more than any girl has. He has been in your neighbor’s home,
your girlfriends’, your T.A’s, your professors’, and even Coach Boehiem’s. I
wish I could tell you about his background, but as interesting he is, he is
equally mysterious. Although, not much is known about him, one thing is for
sure: the sight of him will bring happiness to you, maybe even to the verge of
tears. He is a myth and a legend, the most beloved creature that lurks between
9 p.m. and 5 a.m. Of course I am
talking about the Zonie delivery man.
His
tactics may be unconventional. He may take twice as long as they tell you on
the phone, and occasionally there may be a bite or two taken out of the Zonie,
but “neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night
stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds” can
stop him. Upon his arrival, his
signature knock on your door at five in the morning or his phone call is
probably the single greatest thing in the city of Syracuse.
He’s
seen it all, fought the elements, but keeps doing what he knows, all to deliver
that ever-elusive box of happiness. A conversation with him can be more
beneficial than one with any of your professors. I can recall my freshman year when
I fell into a deep conversation with him over the significance of the killing
of Osama. I will not share the advice he gave me that night as it is
confidential, but I can tell you that I have had a different outlook on life
ever since.
So
the next time you see him, give him a beer, ask him how’s life and most
importantly invite him inside. Because I guarantee you a chance to kick back with
him will be the greatest thing that will ever happen to you.
