New policies at Syracuse frats have begun to carry over into the classroom.
“It’s total bullshit!” Syracuse freshman Eric Davis proclaimed in response to new University rules that state you need to be either on the list or an attractive female to attend classes. “I’m walking into my Anthropology class and all of a sudden some douche in a polo shirt stops me and points a goddamn clipboard at my chest. I’m registered for the class, how the hell am I not on the list?” continued Davis.
As Davis complains, a group of sorority girls in four-inch stilettos and cocktail dresses saunter into the class, seemingly unnoticed by said “douche in polo shirt”. Professor McCarthy defended the new University policy to reporters: “Honestly, we can’t have a sausage fest up in here. How the hell am I supposed to have the coolest Anthropology section if we have like 100 freshman boys in this class?”
When confronted with the fact that the class he taught was, in fact, a freshman course, he shrugged and popped his collar. “Listen,” Professor McCarthy replied “I get that it’s different from how it used to be, but If they really want to get in they can either rush my section in the Spring or come with a pack of cute girls and pay like ten or twenty bucks. Depending on how cute the girls are. Otherwise, there’s really nothing I can do.”
