Now that Syracuse University’s IFC spring rush period has finally come to an end, aspiring Greeks around campus have officially made the coveted transition from GDIs to worthless maggot pledges, prepared for the toughest physical and mental challenge of their college careers.

Delta Theta pledge Marc Nason, however, was caught off guard to learn that despite what he was told during rush, pledging a fraternity would involve binge drinking, very little sleep, and constantly running useless errands for brothers multiple times per day, among other not-so-fun activities.

“I heard all these rumors about pledges being forced to do terrible things,” Nason said. “So during the fraternity expo on Monday, I specifically asked every single fraternity about their policy on hazing, and none of them said they did it!”

In general, the brothers were all rather vague in their responses, saying things like, “Oh don’t worry about it,” and “Pledging is the best experience of your life that you never want to relive.”

“That sounded like so much fun!” Nason said.

“I couldn’t wait to see what kind of activities we would be doing to learn all about brotherhood bonding, like trust falls and building homeless shelters together. Pledging a frat is gonna be a blast!” continued Nason, whose painfully earnest demeanor was an excellent source of humor for the brothers in the house, and even for the fellow members of his pledge class.

Nason was last seen hobbling down Walnut Avenue on Bid Night, where he promptly exited the Delta Theta house after being asked to chug a pitcher of beer, Tabasco sauce, eggs, leftover Chinese food, and milk.