Last semester, I decided that I needed to drop a class. The
problem was that I decided this about three days after the drop deadline.
Needless to say, the conversation I had with the “nice” lady in the registrar’s
office was “not” pleasant. I think you’ll see what I mean”¦


Mrs. Bitchowski:

Me: Good morning,
madam. I would like to request that I be able to drop a class, if you please.

Mrs. Bitchowski: The
drop deadline was three days ago. Next!

Me (Struggling not to be pushed out of the way): I understand that, but I had AIDS for the past few
days and was unable to bring the form in, so I was hoping I could do it today.

Mrs. Bitchowski: You
had AIDS?

Me: Or the flu, the
doctors weren’t really certain. The point is, I’m here now and I desperately
need to drop this class. I missed four weeks of class”¦because of”¦the AIDS.

Mrs. Bitchowski: You
didn’t have AIDS, sir.

Me: Ok, syphilis,
whatever! I just really need to drop this class.

Mrs. Bitchowski: I’m
sorry, but the deadline has passed. I can’t help you.

Me: Ma’am, I don’t
know if I mentioned this, but I’m dying”¦of AIDS”¦and my last wish is to drop
this class.

Mrs. Bitchowski: You
said it was syphilis.

Me: Well my wish is
the same either way.

Mrs. Bitchowski:

Me: Please. There
has to be something I can do. (Eyeing Bitchowski up and down) You know, my
syphilis is gone. If you catch my drift.

Mrs. Bitchowski: I
don’t want to catch anything from you. If you promise to leave, I’ll look up
your schedule and see if I can do anything.

Me: That would be
GREAT! It’s my calculus class.

Mrs. Bitchowski:
(Typing) You’re not enrolled in a calculus class.

Me: Well that’s a

Mrs. Bitchowski:

Me: Wait.

Mrs. Bitchowski:

Me: (Eyeing Mrs.
Bitchowski up and down) You still wanna hook up?