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CURRENTLY KICKIN' ASS
Article by abstewart October 28, 2011
Dear Bountiful Beauties, Something has come to my attention in recent Halloweens. Female costumes, obviously, have decreased in skin coverage and increased in whoriness for a number of years now. And I’m ok with that. As the old Mean Girls adage goes, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a... MORE »
It’s Thursday. Bass pounds, the air reeks of cheap booze and that one chick’s perfume (seriously, take it easy next time), the pledges are wide-eyed and the spring semester shines on a whole new round of Row debauchery. Objectively, it’s fairly easy to see that these loud, crowded, dimly-lit parties are designed to cater to... MORE »
Things you will need:“¢ beer goggles“¢ 5 bucks (if you’re a dude)“¢ boobs (if you’re a chick”¦or a fat dude)“¢ a shower How to find your lost friends:“¢ Don’t. They’re long gone. They left this lame party hours ago. Punch or beer?“¢ Do you like your roofies carbonated or fruity? Things to do:“¢ Beer pong.“¢... MORE »
In a slightly surprising turn of events, numerous sororities on campus were reported to have served hard alcohol and drugs at their rush week recruitment events. While fraternities were busy with their Dry Rush Week, or “3 Day Rush-apallooza” as the IFC now requires it be called, sororities and their PNM’s raged on into the... MORE »
ITHACA, NY—Despite Cornell University’s prestigious reputation, ample academic resources, qualified professors and facility, as well as its aesthetically stunning campus, a former prospective student rescinded his application for the Fall 2012 Semester on Monday. For John McDunnel, a local senior in a New Jersey high school, these qualifications and amenities were just not enough for... MORE »
Partiers around the country rejoice! After the success of its pre-beta launch, The Party Fund is ready to roll out more $100 party grants to students across the country. Already, students at schools like Harvard, NYU, Skidmore, and Stanford have been awarded grants. Sponsors pick up the tab for the parties, and all you have... MORE »
Click it and zoom…..zoom, zoom, zoom. MORE »
When I applied to the U I had one fear: Parking Spaces. Everybody knows a college’s prestige is defined by the number of parking spaces it has on campus, since it’s directly correlated to the number of billionaire alumni. Since I plan on being a billionaire by 2013 (I watched the Social Network, I know... MORE »
A shortage of orange straws caused Dunkin’ Donuts in the Schine Dining Center to shut down today, throwing the Syracuse University student body into a state of mass panic. The popular on-campus establishment closed at noon following its inability to provide the straws, leaving students confused and unable to cope with its unexpected closure. “I’m... MORE »