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CURRENTLY KICKIN' ASS
Cinco de Mayo is remembered as a day by many a Mexican to celebrate their freedom and independence from European powers. It is also a holiday where many an American forgets their intolerance for tequila and gets super shwasted. At Hofstra University, where the student body is more diverse than degrees offered (Hello shameless unpaid... MORE »
Brewster Hall was in a state of emergency yesterday when undeclared freshman Bobby Hughes was rushed to BJ’s Wholesale Club for underwear. The native of Outsideofphilly, PA somehow never learned how to do laundry. Floormates believe it was the consequence of having a girlfriend still in high school. Last semester, Hughes went home twice before... MORE »
Today, whilst working in the lovely new Science and Engineering Library with the overpriced-yet-delicious coffee, I didn’t see any mistletoe. I didn’t see any jolly bearded men with rosy cheeks and jiggly tummies. I didn’t see softly glowing lights, and gifts wrapped in festive and environmentally-unfriendly paper. I did see vomit, and poop, in the... MORE »
A recent poll indicates that 99% of Marist students are unaware of Cannavino Library’s hours. In fact, 83% of students believe that the library is only open during the week before midterms, and finals week. “Total mind blow,” said Joe DiMarco, one of the students polled. “Not the fact that students don’t know the... MORE »
Check out the 3rd and final episode of the semester for Hold the Pulp. In this episode, we have a segment with our Foreign Correspondent, Luke Walsh, who tries to figure out what’s going on with Kappa Alpha Theta Sorority’s Philanthropy Flag Football Tournament, Theta Bowl. And finally, we were graced with the presence of... MORE »
“Surviving the snow?” “Staying warm?” “Isn’t it cold out?” Yes, we’re surviving. No we are not warm – it’s fucking freezing out to answer the last question as well. We’ve all been here. Every state save for Florida (those bastards) has gotten hit hard with snow this winter and temperatures across the country are breaking... MORE »
Tuesday: A family of four was found with an unusual amount of suitcases stealing from the salad bar at Paws-n-Go. “Don’t you just love an all-inclusive resort?!” Marilyn Jones shrieked as the B & D security guard reprimanded her. According to the security guards, Mrs. Jones and her family had actually been asked to leave... MORE »
This Monday afternoon, Cornell campus police faced the unthinkable when they ran out of fresh Wegmans donuts. The police officers campus police were sitting in their parked cars near the intersection of College Avenue and Campus Road when they discovered that they had eaten all of their donuts. “Well we were just sitting there minding... MORE »