New Apathetic College Service Offers Short-Term Pencil Rentals

Article by Miguel Manalo October 5, 2012

MAHWAH, NJ—Announcing its plan to offer short-term, affordable pencil rentals for RoadRunners who don’t own pencils of their own, Apathetic College Inc. launched a brand-new pencil-sharing service earlier this Fall. According to company officials, Apathetic College’s inaugural inventory consists of 24 pencils for the whole campus, providing students with the option to rent pencils by... MORE »

Article by Rocky
March 17, 2012

Your Professional Guide to Midterms

Finals suck. Everyone spends all week in the library, cracked out on adderall, emailing study guides, drinking energy drinks, cracked out on adderall, downloading new study music, and getting grades that don’t quite cut it (while cracked out on adderall). But the under-the-radar, shittier version of finals is midterms. Why? Because I’ve got shit to... MORE »

Video by Anonymous
September 14, 2010

Juice Jammers – Amazing Video

About 5,000 Syracuse University students rocked out to Mouth’s Cradle, Passion Pit, Super Mash Brothers and Lupe Fiasco at Juice Jam 2010 on Sept. 12 at the Skytop Field. The song, “Demon,” courtesy of Mouth’s Cradle. Produced by Aaron Freeder for TheNewsHouse.com. MORE »

Article by Piliour
April 5, 2010

SU Abroad Introduces New Program in Antarctica

In what many are calling the most questionable move in its history, SU Abroad has launched a new program. In Antarctica. Officials from SU Abroad have stated, “It was only a matter of time before our program spread to the icy underworld.” SU Abroad currently has campuses set up in almost every country in the... MORE »

Article by carolineoreilly
October 12, 2012

MU Bookstore now accepting Confederate money

The University of Missouri has only very recently become a part of the SEC, but  southern hospitality as already taken hold of the campus. For this weekend only, in honor of MU’s first game against the University of Alabama as a fellow SEC team, the MU Bookstore and Student Union will be accepting Confederate money.... MORE »

Article by jwoww
December 19, 2010

Cornell Student Stranded on Campus After Missing Bus Back to Strong Island

We’ve just received word that Cornell freshman Jimmy Applebaum has been stranded on Cornell’s campus since missing his bus home to Great Neck, Long Island last Tuesday.   Jimmy, who is a geology major, apparently slept through his alarm on Tuesday morning after a rigorous table tennis tournament that occurred in the Mews 2nd floor... MORE »

Article by jwoww
December 2, 2010

BREAKING NEWS: The Cornell Apocalypse is Near

Well, it’s official. The world is ending. After a two week hiatus from Four Loko, students everywhere have been on edge. Life just isn’t the same – people wake up and actually know where they are, with their dignities still intact. THIS IS UNHEARD OF. Long gone are the days of passing out outside of... MORE »

Article by Piliour
September 6, 2011

Report: Film students don’t know what ‘meta’ actually means

A recent study conducted by the Committee of People Who Hate Douchebag Film Majors (But Not All Film Majors, Just the Douchebag Ones) revealed that the committee needs to change its name. It’s too long. That same study also revealed an even more revealing revelation: a whopping 99% of film majors use the term “meta”... MORE »

USC »
Article by Becca Grumet
October 31, 2012

5 Antisocial Things to do on Halloween

Um, somehow it became Halloween. I’m not sure when that happened, and I’ve decided it’s probably because I have no social life. Whoops. Therefore! As a pathetic person who can’t even remember what day it is, I appropriately compiled a list of antisocial things to do while still maintaining the Halloween spirit. Bring on the... MORE »

Article by jpramuk
September 22, 2012

DPS Party Busts Cause Sharp Drop in Weekend Violence

In response to an alarming string of violence in the Syracuse campus area in the past few weekends, the Department of Public Safety and Syracuse Police Department created a new initiative to break up every party on campus and the outlying areas. The brilliant initiative yielded immediate results, as violent crimes went down 350% in... MORE »