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November 20, 2012

Jersey Devil To Have Thanksgiving With The Abramowitz Family

MAHWAH, NJ – History was made today as The Jersey Devil officially came out of eternal hiding in the deep woods of New Jersey. After taking a heavy beating from Sandy and Irene the past two years, the Jersey Devil is reportedly “fed up” with living in the woods. He exited the forest near a... MORE »

November 14, 2012

President Mercer Pissed Gangnam Style ‘Ripped Him Off’

MAHWAH, NJ – Ramapo College’s President Mercer is reportedly “pissed” at Korean pop sensation, Psy, claiming that his hit song, “Gangnam Style”, was stolen from Mercer himself. The President came directly to Ramapo Basement to set the record straight and spread the word that “Gangnam Style” was his idea first: it was originally called “Mercer Style”... MORE »

October 2, 2012

Amanda Bynes Syndrome Inspires Chaos Amongst College Kids

Thanks to Nickelodeon star Amanda Bynes’ current hott mess streak, Ramapo’s most easily influenced students have been dangerously swayed by her recent behavior. According to prestigious news sources like In Touch magazine and The National Inquirer, Ms. Bynes has been arrested for multiple DUI’s and hit & runs in the past year. There have also... MORE »

September 25, 2012

Ramapo College Introduces New Scholarships

Mahwah, NJ – After a few rough years in an economic recession, it’s no secret that students are struggling to pay for college in New Jersey. Ramapo College, as one of the top schools in New Jersey, (ringing in 10th place behind Rutgers, TCNJ, Kean, Stockton, and then five public high schools), has offered a... MORE »

September 21, 2012

Club Fair Brings Political Strife And Pot To Ramapo

Mahwah, NJ – This week, Ramapo College hosted its annual Club Fair to showcase all Ramapo has to offer to the student population. The club fair was home to an amalgam of old, prestigious clubs, and brand new startup clubs. Students were both shocked and excited to see the new offerings of Ramapo College’s Club... MORE »

September 4, 2012

The Official Ramapo College Drinking Game

“WELCOME BACK PEONS!!” – President Mercer, September 4th, 2012 MAHWAH, NJ – BREAKING: In order to raise morale around campus, President Mercer just emailed the Ramapo Basement staff the Official Drinking Game of Ramapo College. I know, I know, it’s the oxymoron of the century. Obviously this game cannot be played on Ramapo’s campus, as... MORE »

May 3, 2012

Public Safety On Laurel Lots Ticketing Spree

Mahwah, NJ – Ah, the first week of May: the most glorious time of the year. A time for starving oneself for summer and cramming one’s brain with throw-away knowledge. It’s also a time for taking as much harassment from Public Safety as possible before buying a flamethrower with dark intentions. Even though it’s super easy... MORE »

April 26, 2012

Dating at Ramapo; The Guys’ Guide

Dating at Ramapo is the trickiest of trades. It’s the epicenter of sexual frustration. Most girls at Ramapo have considered going lesbian to avoid having to hook up with one more Ramabro, but we already discussed that in The Girls’ Guide to dating at Ramapo. Thus, it is only fair to emotionally scar the Ramababes as well.... MORE »

April 13, 2012 1 Comment

Dating At Ramapo; The Girls’ Guide

When it comes to dating at Ramapo, it’s easy to say that one would rather succumb to prison sex than settle for a horny, chauvinistic Ramamale. As most of us girls know, (or gay guys), it’s slim pickens on this campus. Sifting through the hoards of normal-looking commuters can be tiring. However, it’s not as... MORE »