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Ramapo 2013 Commencement Speaker Announced: The Janitor Who Worked In Steve Jobs’ Accountant’s Office

Article by jillboard January 31, 2013

Mahwah, NJ- After literally grueling and unbearable anticipation, Ramapo College has finally announced the 2013 Commencement Ceremony Speaker. It’s official: the 2013 Commencement Speaker will be The Janitor Who Worked In Steve Jobs’ Accountant’s Office. President Mercer told us exclusively, “this is literally the only guy that said yes.” He furthered that even the Butler... MORE »

Article by Miguel Manalo
December 14, 2012

Relive The Worst Parts of Campus Life One Last Time

MAHWAH, NJ – In an effort to make your winter break even better Student Affairs is holding a “Forget This Stuff” workshop in Friends Hall this Friday at 7pm. The event brings together all the frustrating things about Ramapo College life and lets you do them one last time just to remind yourself how much... MORE »

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Article by Jessica Kluge
December 5, 2012

December Just Wants to be Hot Like Victoria’s Secret Angels

  The day after the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show is one of the most hated days of the year for guys and girls alike. Guys must force out lie after lie about how they’d still date their girlfriends over an underwear model and girls everywhere suddenly pretend to care about going to the gym. Though... MORE »

Article by Miguel Manalo
November 30, 2012

Snow Removal Delay Due To Official’s ‘New Perspective’

MAHWAH, NJ – Students and faculty were confused by the slow pace of Ramapo’s usually speedy snow crew. After the snow had started to come down heavily a little before noon this past Tuesday, commuters and dorming students alike wondered why it was taking so long to clear the areas. “Last semester the hill by... MORE »

Article by jillboard
November 20, 2012

Jersey Devil To Have Thanksgiving With The Abramowitz Family

MAHWAH, NJ – History was made today as The Jersey Devil officially came out of eternal hiding in the deep woods of New Jersey. After taking a heavy beating from Sandy and Irene the past two years, the Jersey Devil is reportedly “fed up” with living in the woods. He exited the forest near a... MORE »

Article by Miguel Manalo
November 16, 2012

Flu Season at Ramapo College

MAHWAH, NJ – Ramapo has a small campus which is good and bad. A smaller campus means shorter walks and more chances of running into friends. But a smaller space during this time of year also means more chances to get sick. Most students prefer to vomit from tequila rather than influenza. Ariel Crewes, assistant... MORE »

Article by jillboard
November 14, 2012

President Mercer Pissed Gangnam Style ‘Ripped Him Off’

MAHWAH, NJ – Ramapo College’s President Mercer is reportedly “pissed” at Korean pop sensation, Psy, claiming that his hit song, “Gangnam Style”, was stolen from Mercer himself. The President came directly to Ramapo Basement to set the record straight and spread the word that “Gangnam Style” was his idea first: it was originally called “Mercer Style”... MORE »

Article by Jessica Kluge
November 14, 2012

A New Hope: Finding Open Classes After Registration

Registration hell week has finally ended, but chances are you have been left in tears. As expected, the Spring 2013 semester wasn’t offering more than three of the classes you need for your major, and two of them already exceeded their max capacity.  You were thinking of knocking out your science gen ed with one... MORE »

Article by Miguel Manalo
November 9, 2012

Spring 2013 Registration Begins at Ramapo College

Registration for the Spring 2013 semester began this Tuesday. With finals approaching and popular sections filling up quickly, what does Ramapo think?   “As a Women’s Studies major I approach my schedule with the mindset that… blahblahblah.”      Kerri-Ann Taylor      Senior, Women’s Studies major           “While you’re logged... MORE »

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Article by Jessica Kluge
November 8, 2012

Votes Considered Invalid Unless Instagrammed

Happy post Election Day everyone! For reasons other than Obama’s reelection and the legalization of gay marriage and marijuana in certain states, yesterdays’s events will  change America forever. After an astonishingly large amount of participation, congress has decided to pass new legislation stating that the 2016 presidential election votes will be counted based on the... MORE »