The Cornell police department was pleased to announce this morning that they’ve met they’re weekly quota for ruining fun. Yesterday the arts quad was the site of an “epic” snowball fight that saw upwards of 200 students.
Smiles made a rare appearance in Ithaca until the police shut it down. Sergeant Levin of the CUPD stated “we work our best to shit on all that is rainbows, sunshine and happiness here at Cornell.”
An anonymous office told us that “the department had to crack down hard on any fun” because of a recent incident in which “various officers reported laughter and grins on Ho plaza”.
Amidst uproar over the shutdown, CUPD released a statement this afternoon prohibiting “the further frolicking of any kind.”
