1.    Go to Armory Square/Westcott Street ““ Hey! Guess what! There’s more to the Syracuse community than the shitty dorm food you’re force-fed every day. Explore a little bit. Dorian’s, Alto Cinco, Pastabilities, Dinosaur, and many other places serve food that hasn’t been seasoned with Exlax and leftover chicken from Veteran’s Day. Your best bet for this expedition is when your rich roommate’s/friend’s parents come to visit and they want to take Johnny B. Wealthy out for dinner. Whether or not you get invited right away, make sure you sweet talk your way into a round-trip visit to Foodcomaville.

2.    “Spend some time” in The Graveyard ““ This can mean whatever you’d like. And if you have no idea what this means, ask around. You’ll find out pretty quickly. The long and short of it is: you should spend a few minutes in The Graveyard behind Sadler/Lawrinson late at night. Just watch out for cops. Not that you’d be doing anything illegal”¦Right?

3.    Camp Out for a Basketball Game ““ Odds are, the team isn’t going to win a National Championship (it’s just how SU basketball works), but it’s still worth spending 12 hours in -14º temperatures to watch a game. Actually, it’s usually NOT worth it, but it’s still something you should do, just so you can say you did it and call your other friends pussies for spending the night walking around Euclid in the cold, only to get rejected from every house party. (Hint: bring a flask when you camp out, the cold will be more bearable).

4.    Make Friends Outside of Your Dorm ““ By no means does this mean that you should log onto Facebook and friend request every single person who attends/has ever attended/will ever attend Syracuse University. This means that, shock of all shocks, there are people in the university who don’t live on the 3rd floor of Flint. And, more surprises, they’re willing to meet new people too. There are 15,000 students at SU. Meet some of them! At the very least, you should do step 5″¦

5.    Crash an Off-Campus House Party ““ A great way to meet people outside of your dorm. Sure, usually you only get to know them because they ask who you know, you pick a generic name, they scream at you to get the fuck off their porch while you scream more generic names at them in attempts to redeem yourself and get into the house, where the beer is flowing like your full bladder wants to do and where luscious upperclass girls are prime to reject you. Whatever, it’s all part of the dance. At the very least, you’ll have a cool story about your new restraining order.

Tomorrow, 5 Things to Do Sophomore Year!