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I'm a girl. My sign is pisces. I enjoy a high-fiber diet.
https://facebook.com/Logan Guntzelman
April 26, 2012

Studying for Finals: I don’t .gif a Sh*t

It’s time for the last adderall binge push. One more round of finals season, and my 16 years of taking tests and writing papers will be over. After 16 years of schoolwork – yes I’m including elementary school, because multiplication tables were fucking hard – I should have finals studying down to a science. Honestly,... MORE »

April 19, 2012 1 Comment

Multitasking in College

As a college student in the big city of New York, my life is a blur. Not because I am constantly drunk, but because I am so busy that each day never seems to slow down. With all of my Hulu watching and class skipping, how will I ever get enough minutes for dinner cooking,... MORE »

April 12, 2012

Senior Fund Gifts I Would Actually Donate To…

I’m no math major, but I’m pretty sure college is expensive. After four years of paying for alcohol food, and for drugs dorms, and for hookers books, I am pretty much done giving my hard earned bucks to this institution. Instead of understanding my grievances, the school is asking that I shell out even more... MORE »

March 29, 2012

There are not enough midgets in Europe: And other lessons I learned on my Spring Break jaunt across the Pond

I’m not normally extravagant or glamorous. I steal packets of honey from coffee shops and eat them as a “balanced meal” on a regular basis. So my decision to spend my hard-earned money on an 11 day trek through Europe surprised even me. But spend it I did. While it was my Spring Break, and... MORE »

March 22, 2012

Brackets that are Actually Worth Making

I love brackets. They are the parentheses’ ugly cousin. [They are the boxy, Khloe Kardashian to the sumptuous curves of the Kim Kardashian-like parenthesis) Want to know what bracket I’m not so keen on? The March Madness bracket. I grew up with the Lakers and the Clippers, people. I’ve seen professionals fight and whine like... MORE »

March 17, 2012

Spring Break Airport Bingo!!! Git Crunk wit SBAPB!

It’s almost spring break. That means many of you are almost at the airport, about to crack open a brand new Hustler Magazine copy of the newspaper and a KING SIZED SNICKERS bottle of water. While this is a civilized way to kill time, why not make a drunken fool of yourself instead? Campus Basement... MORE »

February 22, 2012

The Poop Scoop

Anyone with roommates knows the frustration of the A.M. Bathroom Shuffle. That smelly game of musical chairs where you want to take time for your morning ablutions, but you want to avoid the stench of the morning deuce that preceded yours. Sometimes, you lose this game. Sometimes, you have to brave the wild and lawless... MORE »

February 16, 2012

Shit to Read Whilst Shitting: A Series

So you’re sitting on the crapper. You’re trying to squeeze out all those Valentine’s Day candies you inhaled while watching BOTH Bridget Jones’ movies. You need a distraction. What better distraction than tales from the hood?  Rappers have enticed us for years with stories of “going hard on a ho” and “sticky green” and “bling”.... MORE »

February 15, 2012

Our Boyfriends Have the Same Name

This is a belated Valentine’s Day gift. It’s not for you but you’ll probably enjoy it anyway. Happy 15th of February!!!! MORE »