Chancellor “Sorry Not Sorry” for Hosting Christmas Rave

Article by hohun71 December 8, 2011

This past Monday Chancellor Brady Deaton opened his house to the public, offering views of his ostentatious and overwhelming Christmas decorations. Brimming with memories, alumni walked the halls of the house with their insolent children in tow, making certain to glance back every once in a while to remind their child that this was their... MORE »

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Article by dang
October 29, 2010

Cornell Doctoral Candidate in Philosophy discovers that Life isn’t Fair

Ms. Lee’s thesis aptly titled “Life is not fair and square” is being lauded as one of the 21st century’s greatest philosophical accomplishments. The thesis took about four years to complete. As part of her research, Ms.Lee toured inner city neighborhoods throughout America where she encountered poverty in various forms. Ms Lee stated that “upon  realizing... MORE »

Article by Anonymous
December 6, 2011

Local Man Hates Self, WashU Basement

A student currently attending Washington University hates his life. According to reports, he/she spends hours each day thinking up the cleverest comments possible to distract himself from his/her own self-hatred, including “You’re not funny” and “This isn’t funny.” This student was last seen playing World of Warcraft. And he is NOT Chuck Norris. It has... MORE »

Video by apost
October 12, 2011

Who You Gonna Call? BILL MURRAY!

Over Fall Break Cornell is a ghost town. The only people on campus are athletes and townies. The Cornell Big Red Marching Band desperate for some attention called on the only man they knew would answer their call….Bill Murray? Apparently Billy Murray is still there to answer the Ghostbusters’ hot line. Check out the SNL... MORE »

Article by emcorbet
February 10, 2011

J Michaels moves into Follet’s space

North Face and Uggs consumers of the Hill area can rest easy as J. Michael’s Shoes has moved into part of Marshall Square Mall – because if there is one franchise in the Marhsall St area capable of acquiring already-occupied space, it’s Marshall St’s store of over-priced clothing. J. Michael’s had to close after a... MORE »

Article by Daniel T
March 19, 2012

Freshman Breaks Ground on Spring Break Blanket Fort

Marshall Hess didn’t have any plans for spring break. “I told my mom a couple weeks ago that I was going to buy my plane ticket home for spring break,” said Hess, an undeclared freshman from Washington. “But she suggested that I try doing something else for the ‘full college experience.’ Plus, her and my... MORE »

Article by jambrand08
April 3, 2012

Pandora’s Akon Radio Station to Headline Slope Day 2013

ITHACA, NY: Shortly after announcing on Friday that Taio Cruz and the Neon Trees will be performing on Slope Day this year, selections director of the Slope Day Programming Board Sam Breslin ‘12 released information on what to expect for next year’s event as well. Though it is typical for Slope Day acts to be... MORE »

Video by Humor Whore
September 23, 2010

Forever Young…Until We Get Old

What will the millennial generation look like in 50 years? Will they be Forever Young? Will Justin Bieber’s hair still make him look like a lesbian? Will we even be able to use the word lesbian in 50 years? All these pressing questions answered and more on in this entirely objective and scientifically accurate short. MORE »

Article by Alex Rosenthal
January 10, 2012

“Fleeb,” “Jwngth,” and “Traffic Cone” Projected to Be Top Celebrity Baby Names of 2012

Hip-hop stars and now proud parents, Beyonce and Jay-Z welcomed their first daughter, Blue Ivy Carter, to the world last Saturday. The unique moniker follows a line of other increasingly popular celebrity baby names this year. For Beyonce and Jay-Z, choosing their daughter’s name was a long and arduous process. “I originally wanted to name... MORE »