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Now We Write About Sports! And We Take Steroids While We Do It!
I don’t know if you know this, but Columbia has athletics. Just kidding – of all the student groups here, the athletes are the ones that could most likely beat me up. So I shouldn’t be mean. Until all the a capella groups form a huge, brass-knuckled alliance, I am going to report on sports... MORE »
Come with me if you want to live.
Terminator Peep Hole MORE »
Black Eyed Peas concert reports incredible turnout and ad sales
The Black Eyed Peas played to over 100,000 unusually masculine fans in Dallas this afternoon, a crowd that filled the enormous football stadium and seemed united for no other reason besides the Peas. This comes as a huge surprise to anyone whose most recent memory of the band may be yelling in pain when some tasteless... MORE »
Study: Consuming Copious Amounts of Alcohol May Lead to Relations with the Weird Girl from Psych Class
A recent study indicates that drinking a large amount of alcohol has a direct relationship to the likelihood of you hooking up with that weird girl in your psychology class, the weird girl who wears sweatshirts with ducks on them and who randomly eats cottage cheese in the middle of the lecture. Scientists monitored the... MORE »
Umbrella Etiquette
It is always raining here in Ithaca and so it is pertinent to explain the ten rules/proper etiquette when holding an open umbrella around campus. 1. If you are tall do NOT tilt your umbrella downward because you will get me wet. 2. If you are short (and I apologize if I ever did this... MORE »
DPS Discovers Black Market for Newhouse Editing Software
Department of Safety officers at Syracuse University discovered an underground black market for the distribution of popular computer software ““ used primarily in Newhouse ““ after checking on a South Campus apartment Monday afternoon. Two DPS officers conducting a routine apartment check on Small Road were surprised to find over a dozen students sitting... MORE »
Syracuse student claims to be Hannah Montana
Sophomore PR major, Hannah Melton, claims to be the real Hannah Montana after getting her wisdom teeth removed. Has the real Hannah Montana been walking among us at Syracuse? MORE »
Dating at Ramapo; The Guys’ Guide
Dating at Ramapo is the trickiest of trades. It’s the epicenter of sexual frustration. Most girls at Ramapo have considered going lesbian to avoid having to hook up with one more Ramabro, but we already discussed that in The Girls’ Guide to dating at Ramapo. Thus, it is only fair to emotionally scar the Ramababes as well.... MORE »
Ramapo to Introduce Men’s Center
Mahwah, New Jersey- With Ramapo College’s Women’s Center attaining substantial praise and respect over the last several years, the school recently unveiled its plans for the opening of the Men’s Center. Perks of the Men’s Center (located directly across the hall from the Women’s Center) will include the following: · Watch your head when you... MORE »