A lot of the world follows the standard 12-month calendar. Not this guy. 

I strictly follow the Chinese Zodiac calendar. I’ve never been good at math, and this 2011/2012 stuff doesn’t work for me. It’s hard to keep up with the addition.

So 2012 is the year of the Dragon. Badass. Much better than 2011’s bitch-made “Year of the Rabbit”. Do you know how hard it is to get laid when you refer to summer 2011 as “A Hoppidy Doppidy summer”?

Now we may refer to the heat of the summer as “Dragon’s Breath”. We can happily play as Bowser in Mario Kart and shamelessly refer to smoking marijuana as “puffing the magic dragon”.

Yes, it’s an exciting time for us using the Chinese Zodiac calendar. It’s not too late for others to join, just make dragon puns and try to mention dragons every time the year 2012 is brought up.

So conquer your dragon. We have a whole year to make progress. Take out that sword and slay that fucking dragon!

And be excited for the future years, there’s another cool animal slitheringup in 2013.