Anita Wetcrotch, a junior at Ramapo College, has a physics test tomorrow. You might not know her by name, but you may recognize her from her various roles around campus:

The girl who’s sleeping with the baseball team

The trashed girl at the party

The obnoxious girl screaming outside of your window past 2am

The girl who wears heels to class

The girl who throws up behind the bushes in the village (Next to your bedroom window)

The girl who knocks on your door at 3am and then realizes she’s at the wrong building

Guys: (Possibly your girlfriend), Girls: (Possibly YOU)


Well- Of course, she’s waiting til the night before her test to begin her nonsensical studying. She has the TV on, she has flashcards ready to go (and a few cut into snowflakes), and 3 redbulls to top off the study session.

Texts ring every 20 seconds- Then the clock strikes 12. Now she’s frustrated.
The TV’s off, she’s reading the same five lines, multiple times. In between reading and blindly highlighting she responds to relentless texts.

“Why do they keep texting me! I’m not going out tonight!” She exclaims as she responds to 10 horny dudes’ texts: “no love, I have to study for this stupid physics test :(. Maybe we can meet up tomorrow and make up for lost time:).”

Now it’s 3am, drunk girls start screaming outside. They’re yelling back and forth to each other. They laugh loudly, and scream when their drunken friends try to pick them up. A girl comes near Anita’s window and throws up behind the bushes.

“Why won’t everyone just SHUT UP?!” Wetcrotch cries out in frustration.

Sometimes you get what you give, she’s not getting BJ’s tonight, but at least she’s frustrated.

Update: She failed her test and got super drunk that night. Vomiting pursued next to my window.

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