When the child is 21 years old is it too late to call Dyphus?

This question was raised by many attendees at New Rock’s annual holiday party. The party is usually a good reason for students to find their way out of the books and into the bar scene, yet this year the tension was high.

Louis Treiner, 55, of Rockland, New York, volunteered quite early to be a judge at the party’s annual highlight: the wet-tee shirt contest.

To his surprise, his daughter Cynthia was selected to be one of the many contestants. Eyewitnesses at the event said Treiner didn’t look away when his daughter was doused with water, but in fact stared more intently.

“I was judging to the best of my ability.” said Treiner. “Quite frankly, she doesn’t have what it takes to be a winner.”

This years winner was Angela Zhou, who gave a lap dance to the judges. “Now that Angela, she knows how to please a man.”