The great question of “can guys and girls be just friends?’ is often answered with roaring controversy. Most women say sure, of course they can. Most men say hell mother fucking no, they cannot.

Unbalanced emotion, confusion, desperation, horniness, and drunkenness often complicate the issue. As we learned in Sex Ed, guys and girls have different parts that, in the wise words of the musical Grease, “go together like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong”. That’s why the line between pure, unadulterated friendship and more-than-friends is less stable than Whitney Houston. (R.I.P.)

With all of these factors constantly shaping the issue, this seemed like a question that may never have a concrete answer”¦until now.

We surveyed the entire Ramapo campus with the aforementioned question. The results: 100% of women said that they think guys and girls can be friends. 99.6% of men disagreed. We caught up with the male student in the .4% and gave him a questionnaire to make sense of this disturbance.

Have you always believed that men and woman can be just friends?

I’ve never even really thought about it, but I mean, yeah, why not? I have a lot of friends that are girls.

You never have a desire to have sex with your female friends? Even when you’re drunk?

I don’t drink.

What do you do when you hang out with your female friends?

We usually just hang out in the dorms, chat, you know. Sometimes we do lunch, maybe shop a little, nothing out of the ordinary. We have wine and movie nights, but as I said, I don’t drink so I just enjoy the movie and some gossip.

After the student completed these questions, the answer was clear. Guys and girls can definitely be “just friends””¦as long as the guy is gay.