Ramapo Mobile - more like... Ramapo Horrible! #amirightorwhutlolololol?MAHWAH, NJ – In response to criticism over the lackluster Ramapo Mobile app, the College has submitted version 1.0.7 to the App Store today for approval. Frustrated by the constant stream of angry emails, tweets, and loud screaming at various department heads, school officials took into account every suggestion and turned the app into a daily must-use for every person at Ramapo.

Here are Ramapo Basement’s favorite new features:

Public Safety Tracker – Throwing (or attending) a party and worried about Public Safety finding the mostly empty case of Keystone Light? Using the same technology as the Professor AccuTracker, introduced in version 1.0.2, Ramapo Mobile now gives the user a real-time view of every Public Safety officer’s location. The geo-fencing feature alerts you when an officer gets within 150 feet of your location. This gives you the time to hide your red plastic cups and put your pants back on the bottom half of your body before they even set foot in the Village.

Daily Birch Review (DBR) – Using an algorithm written by TCNJ Computer Science majors, the app now collects and crunches all online chatter about the day’s Birch offerings. DBR then gives the user a recommendation as to whether it is worthwhile and safe to eat at Birch. User preferences let you specify the rigidity of your stomach lining which the app takes into account when calculating your DBR score.

Free Pizza Scheduler – The Ramapo app subscribes to every Club’s email list and watches for keywords such as ‘free’ and ‘pizza’. Why be an active, participatory member of the organization when all you really want is the free food?

Inter-Campus Traffic Watch – Much like Google Maps’s Traffic feature, Traffic Watch shows you construction, hallway-congestion, and little-known shortcuts on the way to your favorite Ramapo destinations. (President Mercer voice-guided directions are a $2.99 in-app purchase)

Ramapo Basement News Feed – Because we’ve got an ‘in’ with the developers that Ramapo College farmed the programming of this app out to, a little bribery got us prime placement in the features menu. Now, instead of being able to check your schedule or GPA, you can read and re-read your favorite Ramapo Basement articles! Also, downloading the app automatically follows us on Twitter (@Ramapo_Basement), likes us on Facebook, and sends vaguely threatening emails to everyone you know from your Ramapo email account if they refuse to promote us!

The update will be available for download on the App Store within the week.

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