Local Sophomore Brian Ritzoff was in a bit of a bind last
Friday afternoon when he found himself to be both sober and at Nasties ““

“So, like, what should I even order?” asked Brian. “Chicken
nuggets? Would those even taste good right now?”

As Brian stood there paralyzed by indecision, a Townhouse
kid reportedly approached him and attempted to sell him a gram of marijuana.
Though Brian had never been high before, he bought it and smoked it anyway, as he
thought it would “make the situation a little less awkward.”