NORTH CAMPUS ““ Robert Purcell Community Center erupted into chaos Wednesday night, as while students and faculty arrived expecting the luscious aroma of Wing Wednesday’s glorious spicy chicken wings, they instead found this green shit.


“I look forward to Wing Wednesday all week,” says hungry
freshmen Kent Gonzalez. “And low and behold, the Wednesday after Thanksgiving,
mind you, I come to RPCC to get some wings. And what do I find? This green


Apparently, the source of this green shit was the Cornell
Gardening Club, looking to provide healthier alternatives to students.


“Foods like spinach and kale do not get served often enough
at Cornell, and when they do get served, people often ignore them,” says
Cornell Gardening Club President, Kathy McHale. “So, we cancelled Wing
Wednesday, but didn’t tell anyone. That way, everyone showed up at RPCC anyway,
but all there was to eat were these healthier alternatives!”


Few students shared Kathy’s enthusiasm for this green shit.


“I do not like spinach and kale. I do not like them, Kathy
McHale,” says Kent Gonzalez. “I really should have just gone to Appel.”


Much to the students’ and faculty’s chagrin, the Cornell Gardening
Club has announced that it will continue having surprise cancellations of Wing
Wednesday to serve this green shit again in the future.


 “You know what,
forget Appel. I should have gone to Harvard,” says Kent Gonzalez. “At least
there, you’re not surprised when the food is terrible.”