“WELCOME BACK PEONS!!” – President Mercer, September 4th, 2012
MAHWAH, NJ – BREAKING: In order to raise morale around campus, President Mercer just emailed the Ramapo Basement staff the Official Drinking Game of Ramapo College. I know, I know, it’s the oxymoron of the century. Obviously this game cannot be played on Ramapo’s campus, as Public Safety spent their summer growing boobs installing cameras in campus bedrooms. Luckily, the students have gotten pretty good at sneaking around. Y’all know how this works: take note of all the things you see/do/put up with in a normal day at Ramapo, then get hammered as a consolation prize. Thanks President Mercer! P.S. Where’d all the Freshman go?
1 SIP if…
- Groundhog sighting.
- Deer family sighting.
- Your class is easy.
- You hear of an event on campus that seemingly targets middle schoolers.
- Public Safety pretends to know facts about knowledge.
- You smell weed near the Reservation.
- Birch diarrhea (1 sip for each time).
- Pay-caf diarrhea.
2 SIPS if…
- Pav diarrhea.
- You feel depression.
- Daily Digest gets sent at 3 AM.
- Undercover Public Safety sighting.
- Public Safety busts your 6-person Guitar Hero gathering.
- Someone says “let’s go to the rock wall”.
- You successfully steal noms from the Pay-caf.
- Commuter talks to you (make it a double if they’re good-looking).
CHUG if…
- Public Safety breaks up your sexytime (too loud).
- You laugh at a Ramapo meme.
- Sorority girl WITHOUT windbreaker sighting.
- You wonder if Drew Barrymore is actually bisexual or if the Women’s Center is just trying to market themselves better.
- Keep a straight face when someone says “the Women’s Center”.
- RA knocks on your door and introduces his or herself.
- Meet someone in NORML who is normal.
- Black people sitting with white people at Paycaf.
- Someone says “I really admire The Women’s Center for what they do for our community”.
FULL DRINK if…
- You’re at Ramapo on a Saturday.
- You read Daily Digest.
- Public Safety quits.
- You meet a person with great morals.
- Ramapo tells the truth about their SAT scores.
- Non-Asian spotted in J. Lees.
- You hear of a party on campus!
- You GO to a party on campus.
- You stay at the said party for 20+ minutes without getting busted.
- You have fun.
- You drink (see what I did there? DRINK)
- You sit down and say to yourself, “you know what, this is a really well balanced establishment for both education and social activities. I’m really glad I went here”.
