Last night, the Victoria’s
Secret Fashion show had a very unexpected outcome: not only did they showcase
their goods in a high profile setting, they set a dubious guiness world record
for most erections occurring at one point in time.

In a study conducted by Cornell’s
Statistics Department early this morning, it was determined that the
probability of a man getting an erection while watching the show is
approximately 100%. Assuming that only half of the 10.3 million viewers that
watched the show were men, at least 5.15 million men had boners simultaneously. Sources
say that this was the most complex statistical study they’ve conducted in over a

A spokesperson from the Guinness
book of world record gave a statement saying “This absolutely shatters the
previous record of  30 found in the
pornographic film Gangbang Train. Overshadowed by this feat is the world record
number of weiners that went flaccid simultaneously at the end of the show,
rumored to be much less that the 5.15 million record as a result of widespread fapping to
the models.”

Victoria’s Secret CEO Lori
Greely released a statement to the press today about this new record. “This is
an, um, honor, I guess. Thanks to the fans? I don’t know, this isn’t really what
we were going for. We are more perturbed than anything else.”

Some men across the nation had mixed feelings about being a part of this record setting effort, however.

“I mean, the show ended and then I was just sitting with a hard-on next to 10 other dudes with hard-ons,” an anonymous frat boy said. “That usually only happens when we get new frat gear. Strange.”