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“Keep Calm and Carry On” – New Anti-Diarrhea Slogan
What was once a war-time propaganda poster in England during WWII, has now become a method of greek recruitment on Mizzou’s campus. “Keep Calm and Carry On”, in its original form, was made for the poor, sleepless citizens of London who encountered night after night of German bombings in 1941. Now it has become a... MORE »
Shit to Read Whilst Shitting: A Series
So you’re sitting on the crapper. You’re trying to squeeze out all those Valentine’s Day candies you inhaled while watching BOTH Bridget Jones’ movies. You need a distraction. What better distraction than tales from the hood? Rappers have enticed us for years with stories of “going hard on a ho” and “sticky green” and “bling”.... MORE »
Shit Cornellians at Cornell Say
Agreed upon by some disagreed upon by few….these are the shits that we say up in here. MORE »
Shit To Read Whilst Shitting: A Series
PART DEUX: SHIT GETS LITERARY The bathroom is a dirty place. Not just in the “you-live-with-three-girls-so-there-is-a-troll-head-of-hair-growing-from-the-drain” kind of way, but also in the “have-sex-hanging-from-the-shower-curtain-rod” kind of way. Taking both of these into consideration, I have found the latest inSTALLment of STRWSAS: Sea Oak by George Saunders. Now I know what some of you may be... MORE »
Shit to Read Whilst Shitting: A Series
In the realm of all things holy, there is nothing more sacred than in-taking knowledge while excreting yesterday’s John Jay omelets. But when the unlabeled caffeinated (possibly decaffeinated) coffee begins racing down your digestive tract like a decloseted freshman to First Friday, what do you do when you’ve already read that Taylor Swift Cosmo about... MORE »
Wing Wednesday Cancelled, Replaced With This Green Shit
NORTH CAMPUS ““ Robert Purcell Community Center erupted into chaos Wednesday night, as while students and faculty arrived expecting the luscious aroma of Wing Wednesday’s glorious spicy chicken wings, they instead found this green shit. “I look forward to Wing Wednesday all week,” says hungry freshmen Kent Gonzalez. “And low and behold, the Wednesday... MORE »
Cornell’s Quality Crappers (A Top 10 List)
Although Cornell does not have any bathrooms with gold-plated toilets, there are plenty of places on campus where you can find a top rate place to do yo’ buisnass. Through extensive research I have compiled a list of the top 10 places ON campus to take a deuce. Hopefully this list will help you in... MORE »
The Emancipation Defecation
Other title options: A Turd Divided Cannot Flush, Four Score and Seven Turds Ago, Lincoln’s Log MORE »