A Syracuse University student has been taken into custody by DPS and charged with “Shaggy Rogers in the Third Degree” for using the word “like” an overt number of times while explaining the Arab-Isreali Conflict during a discussion in a recent Political Science class. Sources say the student is female and is a sister in an unidentified sorority on campus.
The Teaching Assistant of the PSC class, who did not want to submit their name for this report, quoted the sister as saying, “Zionism was like, a total game changer, and like, I feel for the Palestinian refugees but like, I totally understand why Jews would like, enact all of the policies that they like enough to like, have done so. Like.”
DPS has attempted to contact the sister’s “Big” but she has not responded to phone calls. Officers are expecting several over-the-top high-pitched screeches, baskets full of presents, and hugs during the reunion.