A social gathering at an undisclosed Syracuse University
fraternity ended early Saturday night; brothers of the house cited the playing
of the Backstreet Boys’ album “Millennium” as the chief reason to the end of
the party.
The playing of “Millennium” came after a plethora of
contemporary radio “club bangaz,” including, but not limited to, “Like a G6″ by
Far East Movement as well as some other songs attendants didn’t recognize
because they were shit-hammered.
The attendants of the party were a little alarmed when the
1999 hit “Larger Than Life” was played immediately after Lil Wayne’s “Right
Above It.” Despite the odd choice of song, they continued to scope out the
dance floor and nurse their piss-water beers.
However, the boy band’s self-fulfilling prophecy that
“Backstreet was back” came true as the first song of the album seamlessly
transitioned into the hit “I Want It That Way.”
Party patrons became “weirded out” and began leaving; by the
time the Australian Bonus Track “You Wrote The Book on Love” closed out the
album, everyone including the brothers that lived in the house had run from the
premises.
DPS officers are looking for the DJ who allowed the playing
of “such crazy nostalgia,” a 2nd degree social faux pas offense that
can result in up to 100 hours of music history and appreciation classes.
No witnesses are willing to identify themselves publicly,
but an anonymous female party attendant said that the Backstreet Boys were
“alright, I guess” when she was a pre-pubescent girl. She would later say that
“man bands” were “totes not cool, like legit.” She added, “if you’re gonna play
an entire album, play Justin Bieber’s “My World 2.0.” He is soooooo cute, I’m like
obsessed.”
The party had strictly 150 members over the age of 21,
according to the “official” invitation list per dumb Syracuse University party
rules. All of the attendants of the party, even the juniors in high school that
drew X’s on their hands to get into the party, were well over the demographic
age at which one can enjoy an entire Backstreet Boys album.
