The Drake and N.E.R.D concert last night encompassed everything anyone could ever want from a concert–great music, surprise elements, crowd shout-outs, lights and music so loud that your ears are left buzzing 2 hours after the concert ends. There was one aspect of the show, however, that I never wanted from a concert, ever, and that was the unannounced, local fashion show.

During the first two acts, which no one really cared to watch, I was busy watching what was going on behind the scenes. No, not backstage chillin’ with Drake and Pharrell, but out by the concession stands, watching girls passed out drunk, hooked up to IVs being wheeled out on stretchers to an ambulance…freshmen newbs. Though it may have seemed at the time that oxygen masks were the major trend of the evening, I was soon hit by a wave of fashion so outlandish that I asked if Lady GaGa was in town. She wasn’t, but Johnny Flynn was.

Women wearing dresses SO short that I saw re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy. Heels SO high that I knew someone was getting cut that night, and jeans SO baggy that they could no longer serve their purpose as clothing, but as storage containers for who knows what. But perhaps the biggest winner of the night was the display of graphic t-shirts.

I say graphic t-shirts because not only did these shirts have graphics, but they were graphic as well…touche. My favorite of the night was a gentleman with a shirt that read “Sweat No Nigga, Fear No Bitch.” His only competition was the young female wearing a shirt with the words “Dude, Where’s The Dutch?” It’s safe to say the man had this round won. Later on, a man wearing an over-sized baseball cap with a Louis Vuitton scarf over his head came into the picture. The look was working for him, until I saw the Koala Bear on his t-shirt.

What makes women want to dress up for these concerts in dresses and skirts (or no bottoms at all) that could make Rev Run cry? Is it the 1 in 5,000,000,000,000 chance that the rapper will see you, take a mental note, and then come find you after the concert to take you home with him, and then travel the world? Yes, I know Drake did some lady-spotting in the crowd last night, but that was all part of his entertainment factor. And yes, I know he called a young lady up onto stage to dance and peck with, but even she was wearing more clothing than half of the upper-deck section. I was wearing jeans, sandals and a t-shirt, I hadn’t even showered until 4AM this morning, and I enjoyed the concert just as much as everyone else, clothed or not. My clothing wasn’t getting in the way of my eyes or ears, thus I was just fine, and not to mention comfortable. So what’s the excuse of those barely-clothed?

Aside from Drake and N.E.R.D’s awesome performances, the entire evening felt more like a virtual tour of, minus the tractors.

It looks like the “freak show” that Drake raps about on his tour bus spilled out into the Dome for this very special Block Party. Perhaps next time we have a rapper perform at the dome security should check for butt-cracks and beef-curtains in addition to the usual alcohol, drugs and weaponry.