Admit it: you, like everybody else, went on a supervised tour of Syracuse University some time in your past. We all remember being herded like cattle around the quad, being told constantly that the steps of Carnegie Library led nowhere as our parents embarrassed us in front of our elder classmates.
Judging by the excess amount of bright orange bags on the Quad yesterday it seems that this week has many prospective students visiting the school. Unfortunately, one these prospective students went missing on a tour that took place yesterday.
According to the Department of Public Safety, which has withheld the student’s name, he was on a tour that left the Admissions Building at approximately 10:47 am. When the tour reached its conclusion at the Schine Student Center an hour and a half later it was discovered that the child had gone missing.
Sources indicate that there is a strong possibility that, on the way up to the Hogwarts-looking building, he made a turn towards the city of Syracuse. It is believed that current students at SU have told the missing student that the city of Syracuse is a “beautiful, majestic, once-in-a-lifetime city.” It was this outrageous comment that sparked the missing student’s curiosity to visit…….downtown Syracuse. The Department of Public Safety fears that more and more current students will be playing this prank on prospective students, by giving them wrong directions on purpose in favor of spurning them away from the University.
“Although me and my family miss our son deeply,” said the mother of the missing child, “we are thrilled that we don’t have to worry about paying tuition any more”.