Things are not quite what they used to be in Hinds Hall, home of Syracuse University’s iSchool. Apple inc., under new leadership, has decided to extend their brand and buy out anything and everything that bares a name similar to their products. The iSchool was not left behind. Apple states that they intend to keep making the building sleeker and smaller while still maintaining storage capacity. Executives predict that the iSchool’s Hinds Hall will be roughly the size of a penny by 2015 but more than double in capacity.

“We were hesitant at first.” remembers an anonymous faculty member. “So far it has really been for the best, though. Tuition has changed now. Classes are 99 cents per lecture as opposed to University standard tuition. Classes with labs are 1.29 per class and classes that have been picked as “staff favorites” run around 2 dollars. Also for some reason there are Starbucks popping up all over in here now; it’s pretty bad-ass.”

Some students and faculty are not as happy with the changes made as the professor interviewed above. “I took IST 195 last year!” complained Sophomore, Rachel Landers. “But they changed like two things about the class so that everyone will have to pay to take it again! At this rate I’ll never graduate. Also, they started re-naming all the rooms after animals; it’s weird. I want my Programming exam to be in room 113, not room ‘tribal platypus.'”

More student complaints have been launched about the school’s new controversial policy regarding Android users. They are allowed to keep using Google’s Android software on their phones, but they must wear a scarlet “A” on their chests at all times. And also shower off before entering the school.

A massive “Burning of the Dells” event will be held this weekend in the Hinds Hall parking lot to dispose of the school’s current computers. The one Mac that was currently in the iSchool will be put in glass casing in the center of the building where students may or may not worship it.