In a press conference called on Monday, iSchool adjunct professor Dan Mason shocked the campus community when he admitted to a grave “transgression” in his career at Syracuse University.

“I do not know, nor have I ever known, the purpose of the iSchool as it relates to the greater University system,” Mason said in a lengthy prepared statement.

When asked by stunned reporters to elaborate, Mason replied “Well honestly, what does that mean, iSchool? Is that some term to make us sound like we’re all “Generation Now?’ Why? What the hell for?”

Reporters also pointed out that the iSchool’s full name was the School of Information Studies, but Professor Mason was not satisfied. “Yeah, right, the School of Information Studies. Could they possibly have come up with a more vague and generic name? I mean, isn’t that the purpose of every school? I can’t think of any kind of academic institution where information isn’t studied. Oh, wait, yes I can, at the damn “School of Information Studies!'”

Shortly after the conclusion of his press conference, Professor Mason released a brief second statement announcing his resignation from the University faculty, claiming that he wanted to “spend more time with his family.”