*Please keep track of your point total. TI-87 Graphing
Calculators are required and can be purchased at the Ramapo bookstore for

Has the sight of phallic statues outside of ASB
once again made you question exactly what boundaries Ramapo administrators want
us to push?

A. It’s so veiny! (1 point)

B. Nope, haven’t seen a metal penis
since December. Well, except for that one night over break when things got
weird on the train back from Hoboken. (0 points)

2. Have
you attempted to reconnect with multiple 1st semester flings via
mass text, “Hey you?”

Of course. It’s a numbers game. (1 point)

Not yet, but I do have that text saved as a draft so I don’t forget. (0 points)

3. Have
you recently encountered that awkward moment when you make eye contact with a
fringe friend from 100 feet away on that long walk through the village?

Yes. But I pulled the fake phone call move”¦ nailed it. (1 point)

Thank God, no. (0 points)

4. Have
you attended a “rager” that consisted of 12 guys, 4 girls (1 of them being
single), 3 separate conversations about Victor Cruz, and a game of pong on a
couch flipped on its side?

Dude, that one single girl was gross. (1 point)

No, but my friends told me that party was insane. (0 points)


0-1 Point: You
have not yet come back to Ramapo. Staaaay as long as you cannnnnn.

2 Points: You’re okay for now,
but if you’re not careful, you may wind up back in Mahwah.

3 Points: You’re dangerously
close to this fine institution established all
the way
back in 1969. You’re probably passing the mini ponies on 202 as we

4 Points: You fought valiantly.
We shall tell your tale of near triumph. Maybe they’ll name a high school after