-
Campus Basement Newsletter!
-
It's #Follow THURSDAY
Follow @campusbasement -
Partners
-
A Simple JIRA Mobile App that kicks ass! - 21 alcohol basketball beer boeheim campus christmas classes college Cornell dorms dps drinking drunk facebook featured finals food fraternities frats freshmen funny girls greek halloween holidays library love money movies music otto parties politics professors sex snow sororities sports students student sketches washu weather winter women
Cain drops out of GOP race, is seen at local bar
Picture by
Chris Varney
December 7, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Herman Cain is implementing his revised 9-9-9 plan: "9 beers, 9 shots, 9 beers!"
Alpha Sigma Sigma Builds Coat Room, Becomes Top Frat on Campus
In a recent poll conducted by the MU Greek System, Alpha Sigma Sigma, Mizzou’s formerly lowest-ranked fraternity by female students, has recently been rated “Top House on Campus.” Though experts are citing a number of reasons for the rankings upset, female students asked about their sudden change in heart towards the fraternity, nearly all mentioned... MORE »
The Story of Syllabus Week
Syllabus Week, known as the “Festival of Natty Lights” to many, will soon be upon us once more. Though widely celebrate by most college students, there are many who have forgotten the true meaning of the weeklong celebration. To remind us why we celebrate Syllabus Week, we have decided to retell the story of how... MORE »
Best Bushes To Piss On After Drinking
Pissing in public whilst moderately intoxicated is nothing new. The body has a high level of urgency when removing potentially excessive amounts of alcohol. Combined with the fear of public scrutiny should one’s bladder evacuate prematurely in a public forum. Results include, but are not limited to, urinating on the sides of buildings and... MORE »
MU Bookstore now accepting Confederate money
The University of Missouri has only very recently become a part of the SEC, but southern hospitality as already taken hold of the campus. For this weekend only, in honor of MU’s first game against the University of Alabama as a fellow SEC team, the MU Bookstore and Student Union will be accepting Confederate money.... MORE »
Santorum Deems College Unnecessary; Students Rebel
In a recent interview presidential candidate Rick Santorum said, “The indoctrination that is going on at the university level is a harm to our country.” After hearing these wise words thousands of students around the world rebelled against their institutions all with the campaign, “Puppets no more!” Santorum is widely known to have a concrete... MORE »
9 Out Of 10 Cleaning Crew Members Report Complete Job Satisfaction
A recent survey done by the National Allegiance for People that Clean Other People’s Shit Up (NAPCOPSU) reports that 9 out of every 10 members of The University of Missouri’s residence hall cleaning crew absolutely love their job. Not that this came as a shock to the thousands of student that they serve. “Every morning... MORE »
Top 6.5 ways to get people to go to Basketball Games
It’s just a known fact that people attend football games more than any other sport here. Hence volleyball, wrestling and other unattended sports are free to get into. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the 300 pound brawny men wearing spandex, could be the excessive amount of pre-gaming that occurs before the game starts or... MORE »
MU’s move to SEC prompts KFC to open 10 new locations in Columbia
When Chancellor Brady Deaton announced MU was moving to the SEC, Columbia residents knew many things would be changing so the University would better fit into the more southern culture. At the forefront of their concerns: Kentucky Fried Chicken. The lack of Colonel certified buckets of finger lickin’ goodness... MORE »
Windows Media Player wins Florida’s Electoral Votes
The voting machine issues that once again plagued The Sunshine State this election seemed to have been resolved with the decision to award Florida’s 29 electoral votes to Windows Media Player. The default software won nearly 80% of the votes cast after Dieitalics Voting Systems employees accidentally left the “open at start-up box” checked-in. Many... MORE »
Fraternity refuses to suspend uranium enrichment program despite sanctions
Another round of negotiations fell through between the Tau Kappa Chi (TKX) Fraternity and the United Nations concerning TKX’s uranium enrichment program Wednesday. This most recent round of negotiations appears to be the last as neither side is willing to make concessions. The fraternity and the UN have been in talks since UN weapons... MORE »
Gannett and Anheuser-Busch to sponsor J-School’s new “Detecting Corporate Bias” class
Introducing the Dodge Dart II. New Rules. Journalism students will have the opportunity to take a new class, tentatively titled “Detecting Corporate Bias,” starting this spring due to a donation from the Gannett and Anheuser-Busch InBev companies. The three credit hour class will include a weekly lecture from a MU faculty member and representatives... MORE »
The Biggest Bullshitter: The Abominable Snowman
Who’s that “Biggest Bullshitter”? It’s Abominable Snowman! (Koffing!) Abominable Snowman is a Fiscally Conservative but Socially Liberal type Pokemon. Abominable Snowman are birds in the family Laridae. They are the largest and also the most tall of all Pokemon, or more accurately: they are not, being of average relative height and weight.... MORE »
The Kingdoms of Gom
Episode 37: A Dark Wind Approacheth –SCENE 1/ ACT 1– The Scene: Deep within Castle Helgore lay the BEDCHAMBER of the dark PRINCE QUINTOPOLIS. He seeks to bed the vain but noble LADY DUMPINGTON, whose father’s kingdom, Gumtar is the second largest Kingdom of Gom behind only Helgore. Nutella is sweet and delicious. ... MORE »
Norfolk State’s secret to upset over Mizzou: “We’re strong off cod”
It was a tragic day of March Madness for all of Tiger Nation. While the 86-84 upset of the two seed University of Missouri by the 15 seed Norfolk State University stunned the nation, no one was surprised in Norfolk, Virginia. Norfolk, a small fishing village on the coast of Virginia, has a long history... MORE »
Dorm newspaper meeting rescheduled for 5th straight semester
In the aftermath of the worldwide print media collapse, only one news source stands between the residents of Schurz Residence Hall and a media blackout. Rather, the resident run news publication The Schurz Tentacle would provide a beacon of news in an otherwise black abyss if it ever got published. The Tentacle gets its seemingly... MORE »
Google privacy policy: will share personal information “only if asked really nicely?”
In what was hailed by consumer rights activists as a major victory, Internet behemoth Google Inc. has announced an overhaul to its comprehensive privacy policy. Privacy, a long time thorn in Googleâ??s side, is finally going to take a front seat in corporate decisions. The company made an announcement earlier this week laying out the... MORE »
Image macro posted to Facebook definitively (proves/disproves) existence of God
At 10:03 PM Eastern Time last night, freshman Logan Nogouche posted an image macro (picture with overlaid-text) to the popular social networking site MySpace that once and for all ended the existence of God debate. The particular image was simply a picture of (Jesus/Richard Dawkins) with an overlaid (Bible verse/Richard Dawkins quote). However,... MORE »
Complete stegosaurus fossil turns out to be Cheerios, broken bits of Cheerios
The entire scientific community held its collective breath last week when the most complete Stegosaurus fossil yet discovered was announced via press release. The press release reported that the nearly complete remains of the 27-foot armored stegosaurid dinosaur were discovered on a kitchen floor in Columbia, MO. “As there was never a precedent for the... MORE »
“Open Mike Night” not the same as “Open Mic Night” says Medical Student
A dozen or so eager students arrived in the basement of the Medical Sciences Building last night with acoustic guitars and crumpled notebook pages heavy with the ink of fresh poetry. The sudden appearance of knit caps and Chuck Taylor’s amongst the sea of surgical scrubs and face masks surprised the med students, who were... MORE »
Report: 90% of Mizzou undergraduate students “seem mad “
The Dept. of Psychology at the University of Missouri has just released the results of a groundbreaking 10-year study conducted by Dr. Bram Wiesel entitled “U MAD BRO, U SEEM MAD: A look at anger in college age populations.” The results indicate that, among the 1,876 students surveyed, over 90% between the ages of 18-22... MORE »
Videos to watch after climbing trees outside all day!
Winnie the Pooh couldn’t have said it any better, it sure is blustery outside. But soon, little cherubs, anthropomorphic stuffed animals and trees alike will have the joy of a spring day. But outside is only interesting for so long, children! What to do after a long day of dragon chasing and tree climbing in... MORE »
Mizzou to celebrate all present, future religions
In light of the current atmosphere of increased attention to other cultures, Mizzou officials look to cover all their bases this holiday season by providing décor and activities in celebration of not only all present holidays but also any future holidays celebrated by religions not yet practiced. “According to the 2008 American Religious Identification Survey,... MORE »
What I’d Want for Christmas if I Were 4 (Mizzou)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! (Through the decades) Dear (1930’s) Santa, For this Cristmas alls I want is some food for my rumbly tummy. And food for my brother Jakob... MORE »
New Boeing 787 Dreamliner ‘Unsinkable’
Executives from Boeing visited Mizzou last month to speak to engineering students and anyone else interested about the Boeing Company and the future of aerospace technology. One part of the future will be the newest Boeing commercial airplane, the 787 Dreamliner, which is set to fly commercially in the coming weeks. “This bird-less sky-carriage shall... MORE »
Guys. That building across the street from Engineering West is totally haunted. I’m serious.
Hey guys, just got back from doing a psych study and boy do I have a story to tell you. You guys know that building on campus that used to be a hospital, right next to Lafferre Hall; you know, the one right across the street from the Engineering West building? Well, whatever that building... MORE »
“Take an Add Sheet, dammit.”
“Add sheet? Add sheet! Just a guy handing out Add sheets. Who likes a bargain? I know I do. Add sheet! They’re free! Coupons for over a hundred of you’re favorite stores in the greater Columbia area!” “Add sheet? No? Add sheet! No? Here, take an add sheet!….Do what? To myself? That’s not even possible... MORE »
Mizzou’s 11/11/11 Ball Drop
Happy 11/11/11! Also, Veteran’s Day! This is somehow related… MORE »
Residence Hall quarantine enters third week
Schurz Residence Hall, on the east side of campus, has been under Code Orange quarantine status for over 15 days. Center for Disease Control (CDC) investigators and Mizzou Health officials have recently discovered the pathogen responsible for the outbreak, which at first was believed to be Scabies. “I... MORE »