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An Email Thread of Indecisive Students Trying to Plan Spring Break (Mizzou)

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January 9, 2012 at 8:00 pm

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◄ Welcome to Missouri.

Syracuse Students Protest Westboro Church ►

February 28, 2013

Alpha Sigma Sigma Builds Coat Room, Becomes Top Frat on Campus

In a recent poll conducted by the MU Greek System, Alpha Sigma Sigma, Mizzou’s formerly lowest-ranked fraternity by female students, has recently been rated “Top House on Campus.” Though experts are citing a number of reasons for the rankings upset, female students asked about their sudden change in heart towards the fraternity, nearly all mentioned... MORE »

April 27, 2012

The Biggest Bullshitter: Wizards

Think to yourself, just for a second. Close your eyes and go into your mind’s eye and think of the best wizard you know. Now. Okay, now some people will have actually closed their eyes at this point, we’ll call that an experiment in natural selection. For the rest of you check this out.... MORE »

October 27, 2011

What The Fuck Mizzou: Stupidity and Genital Whacking

Whether our impending move to the SEC or the upcoming rapture has anything to do with several sequences of events recently incorporating stupidity and religious expression, we’ll never know. The point of the matter; this campus seems to have caught apocalyptic-street-corner-sign syndrome and a fiery case of poor judgment. “You’re Gonna Catch the Crabs!” Anyone... MORE »

January 3, 2012

Welcome to Missouri.

This just speaks for itself. MORE »

October 24, 2012

MU students suspect nicotine as Baja’s secret ingredient

Below the Hatch and Schurz residence rests a beautiful gem, an in-and-out restaurant named Baja. Virtually hidden from plain sight on the very edge of campus, it would appear Baja would have to do some serious advertising to get any business at all. Simply by word of mouth, Baja has flourished into a remarkably convenient... MORE »

December 8, 2011

Getting from Point A to Point B with the least exposure to the weather

November 7, 2012

Windows Media Player wins Florida’s Electoral Votes

The voting machine issues that once again plagued The Sunshine State this election seemed to have been resolved with the decision to award Florida’s 29 electoral votes to Windows Media Player. The default software won nearly 80% of the votes cast after Dieitalics Voting Systems employees accidentally left the “open at start-up box” checked-in. Many... MORE »

November 11, 2011

MU Greek GPA’s Plummet Due to Adderall Shortage

Three things and three things alone dictate the survival of the residents in greek town; sex, adderall and beer. With finals threatening to surface in a month, frequent trips to gas stations all around Columbia have become a must in order to stock up on Natural Light. Wall’s of shame have transformed into... MORE »

April 25, 2012

MUSketch performs _____ in Paris

December 12, 2011

Meet Captain Redundancy’s new proud sidekick, Columbia Missourian

December 11, 2011

Mizzou Students Prepare to Study Abroad… In New York?

This Spring semester, hundreds of Mizzou students will pack their luggage along with their preconceived notions and fly off to exotic locales, where they will be immersed in a different culture as part of the study abroad program. Whether it’s sipping Bordeaux in France or zip-lining in Brazil, these students are guaranteed new experiences as... MORE »

December 11, 2011

Attacks Continue on the Left-Handed Community

In the last few years, left-handed people everywhere rejoiced as their right to enter into marriage finally became legalized in states like Iowa and New York, and as their right to serve openly in the military became protected under President Obama. However, those rights are now under fresh assault. Previously, left-handed people were not allowed... MORE »

December 5, 2011

Cainthology: Songs in the Key of Cain

Tim Heidecker, one half of the comedy due Tim and Erik, can no longer contain his deep, throbbing passion for whom he refers to as his lord and master, Herman Cain. After attempting to earn favor with Cain via twitter, Heidecker is now looking to gain Cain’s attention with his new EP, Cainthology: Songs in... MORE »

November 11, 2011

How to Suck Up to Your Professor

So youâre failing. Before you drop out of college to sell weed and homemade crafts out of the trunk of your car, see if your professor can be persuaded to pad your grade. 1. Start in the obvious place â by stroking your professorâs massive ego. Linger after class to impress... MORE »

October 29, 2011

Confessions of a Dummy

I’ve been at Mizzou for a month now, and have arrived at the conclusion people here just don’t get me. And since I’ve tried posting dramatic song lyrics as my Facebook status, tweeting about how I need plans in the hopes someone will make them with me, and standing out in Speakers Circle with a... MORE »

Donald Trump demands to see Jeremy Linâ€™s birth certificate

MU Brony Club and Collegiate Horsemen's Associates engage in barn clearing brawl

Newspaper changes from Maneater to Personeater to remove gender bias

MUSketch performs _____ in Paris

Plaza 900 Grille to become slaughterhouse

Mizzou Also Gets 387th Pick; He deserves recognition too!

Cosmopolitan and Esquire Purchase MOVE Magazine

Merman, dad. Merman.

An Email Thread of Indecisive Students Trying to Plan Spring Break (Mizzou)

Mizzou Students Prepare to Study Abroad… In New York?

Attacks Continue on the Left-Handed Community

Cainthology: Songs in the Key of Cain

How to Suck Up to Your Professor

Confessions of a Dummy

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