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How To Deliver a Speech at Speaker’s Circle: God Hates The Seattle Supersonics

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April 13, 2012 at 12:48 am
SEE MORE » beer, drugs, ecstasy, god, Hatred, humor, Nelly Furtaod, Sadism, Seattle, sex, sports, Supersonics
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February 28, 2013

Alpha Sigma Sigma Builds Coat Room, Becomes Top Frat on Campus

In a recent poll conducted by the MU Greek System, Alpha Sigma Sigma, Mizzou’s formerly lowest-ranked fraternity by female students, has recently been rated “Top House on Campus.” Though experts are citing a number of reasons for the rankings upset, female students asked about their sudden change in heart towards the fraternity, nearly all mentioned... MORE »

February 6, 2013

Top Ten Pop Culture Predictions of 2013

1. Kim Kardashian gives birth on live television, baby Kimye eats its way out of Kim’s uterus Twilight-style. Kris Jenner promptly sells the newborn’s life rights to E!. 2. Anne Hathaway punches Best Actress winner Jessica Chastain at the Oscars: “I SHAVED MY HEAD FOR THIS.” 3. Leonardo DiCaprio decides to move to daytime television... MORE »

January 17, 2013

Gay men everywhere speak out in support of Manti Te’o: ‘We’ve all been there.”

Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o has recently come under fire since it was discovered that his late girlfriend, Lennay Kekua, never actually existed. In spite of the allegations and subsequent media frenzy, one group has surprisingly and publicly come out in support of Te’o: the gay community. “So what, he made up his girlfriend? That... MORE »

January 8, 2013

Cool College Guy Claims He’s Really Into Sports And Having Sex With Women

Last Thursday night Freshman Doyle Matheson admitted in conversation with a member of the opposite sex that he was “really into sports.” “Ladies love guys that are really into sports,” said Matheson, “which explains why I get it in on the regs.” As evidence of his love of sports, Matheson receives ESPN updates to his... MORE »

December 28, 2012

The Story of Syllabus Week

Syllabus Week, known as the “Festival of Natty Lights” to many, will soon be upon us once more. Though widely celebrate by most college students, there are many who have forgotten the true meaning of the weeklong celebration. To remind us why we celebrate Syllabus Week, we have decided to retell the story of how... MORE »

November 29, 2012

MU Basketball Players Actually Monstars

Columbia, Missouri- Scandal and college sports, it would seem, go hand in hand. During a routine pre-season blood test, the blood work of five members of the MU men’s basketball team came back clear of all substances. As if this fact wasn’t shocking enough on its own, it was uncovered that the five, all freshmen... MORE »

October 1, 2012

MU Introduces Jersey Chasing as Newest Club Sport

Carefully checking her makeup using the selfie-mode of her iPhone 4s, Mary hides behind a trash can, lying in wait for the moment when Freshmen tight end Jack (whose name has been changed for his own personal safety) leaves his room, at which point she will pop up and accidentally bump into him, thus striking... MORE »

April 2, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: One Fan’s One Shining Moment

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March 26, 2012

Reasons I Love Living in Missouri….

Saw this license plate on the way to the airport. #prolifeswag! MORE »

March 19, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Twittervention

It’s a problem MORE »

October 25, 2012

Sorority Girl Stunned After Not Being Nominated for Academy Award For Homecoming Skit

    A University of Missouri student and member of the Delta Kappa Rho sorority was shocked yesterday when she was not nominated for an Academy Award. Julie Anne Drew starred in “Sonata de Truman,” the 1790s-themed production of Delta Kappa Rho, Alpha Sigma Sigma, and Rho Rho Rho. Drew procrastinated her hospitality management homework... MORE »

October 15, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Blind Date

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September 24, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Milk

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September 10, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: The Big News

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May 2, 2012

A Tribute To Brad

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April 30, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Missing Friend

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April 27, 2012

How To Deliver A Speech At Speaker’s Circle: Science

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April 27, 2012

The Biggest Bullshitter: Gargoyles

You gasp for air for a couple seconds, and than he puts you right back in. The toilet water smells like a combination of asparagus piss and sparrow semen. Although, you’re not even that mad about it, and you know why? The man that is shoving your frail head into the toilet, Bobby the Gargoyle.... MORE »

April 25, 2012

MUSketch performs _____ in Paris

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April 16, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Maneater Janitorial Staff Apology

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April 2, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: One Fan’s One Shining Moment

MORE »

March 19, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Twittervention

It’s a problem MORE »

March 17, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Mizzou Basement Promo

Promo within a promo within a promo MORE »

February 27, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: Stop Ice Cream Homicide

An epidemic that is plaguing Plaza 900 goers MORE »

February 20, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: GDI Life

A tale of a God Damn Independent. MORE »

February 13, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: On My Birthday

Nobody wants to do anything on their birthday. MORE »

February 6, 2012

Jake’s Movie Monday: LSD, the Legging Skin Disorder

A Trend Gone Terribly Wrong MORE »

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