Recently an anonymous male was found running around Olin exposing himself to females and shocking them to the point of tears.

CampusBasement investigative reporter Jenna Til-Warts had an exclusive interview with the famous flasher. She pried into the mind of the psychopath in an attempt to figure out what the roots of his problems were. 

Til-Warts concluded that as of last night the flasher will no longer feel the need to run around with his ball and chain out around town because he has found true love.

He found his match at Cornell Hillel’s Jewish Speed Dating. It was love at first site when the two ran into each other ass naked. Both desperate for attention… it was destiny!


Hillel was incredibly open to the nudists. The only tears shed were those of people who were moved by the romantic scene.

“Neither of us are Jewish. We just heard they’re pretty liberal….and easy.” 


Hillel representatives commented saying, “As the chosen people, we have chosen to be accepting of anyone that is looking to find the right person. And most importantly that when you bring them home to your mother she will approve.”

Days later: the two have been seen holding hands on Ho Plaza in matching trench coats 😉
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