“Some misguided souls believe college letter grades to be “unimportant,'” snorts Dr. Rawls, SC’s Chair of Academic Superfluition. “Nastier rumors include the sentiments that Writings 140 and 340 “aren’t worth the time’ and “aren’t necessary for certain professions.'” He shakes his head. “Kids. These. Days.”


Which is why the good Doctor doesn’t feel bad that junior pop music major Lisa Stein faces future unemployment from allegedly neglecting her WRIT classwork. “If students don’t take this work more seriously, they’ll go nowhere. Nowhere!!” He points dramatically upwards.


Unexpectedly, an anonymous record company exec CB consulted backs up the statement. “A C+???” he spits. “Nah, she’ll never work in this town. Sorry.”


“Grades are everything.” Dr. Rawls states curtly. “Before college, you work hard to get into college. But now, you’re working to get into life!” 

And life, apparently, is pickier about GPAs than an Ivy League application.


“What am I going to spend my emotional energy on, anyways, if not hating myself over Bs?” academic achiever and the Dr.’s office’s student worker explains. “It’s WRIT340, it’s GEs, all of it matters. Equally.” She asserts that a numerical score from 0-100 is the only way to quantify what she’s getting out of a class. “The only way.”


When asked what she learned from the whole experience, ruined-career-girl Lisa Stein isn’t sure.


“I thought, going straight into a creative, talent-based profession after college, that grades in my mandatory nonmajor classes were irrelevant,” she says, listless. “I just want everyone else to know before they make the same mistakes I did.”

Photo credit: Grace Talice Lee