Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines
New health center should
mean more comprehensive care, more resources : AND BARRELS UPON BARRELS OF
CONDOMS FOR ALL
Norris to screen film
on religion : Me to stay home and watch Archer
$30 million donated
to build new hall : It’s great the Dauterives are stepping up, but kind of
annoying we “totally don’t know where” we dropped the Dornsife money.
VP of Student Affairs
Michael L. Jackson discusses love, leadership, spirituality :
Unfortunately, other Michael Jackson still seems to have done this better.
SC’s Career Fest this
week brought speakers to give students career advice : Popular seminars
included “Stop Crying” and “Seriously, Just Take a Deep Breath”
Obama proposes
financial aid be increased overall, but cut for institutions that can’t control
tuition costs : For a time machine that could let me go to college whenever
this is true, I’d pay all the money I
have! (Approx. -$200,000.)
Study finds less
drinking, less drinking-related problems on campus than off campus : Off campus housing: A Friendly Place
for Budding Alcoholics
Local nonstudent
residents rally against lost Vermont housing; “this community is being absorbed
like a virus by USC” : Off campus housing: Your Budding Alcoholism Less Adorable
Than You Think
Community asks for
beautification improvements west of Vermont : Mainly, get all these budding
alcoholics and their vomit off their lawns
DPS monitors Facebook
to prepare for “controversial” events, allegedly followed a student to a party
: Now we all have one more creepy ex-girlfriend to deal with.
SC Pharmacy to launch
web-based application to allow patrons to order prescriptions online : If
you want, they’ll even send a dude to stand too closely behind you while you do
it.
Professor Proffitt
stresses creativity, innovation in journalism : Assuming that includes
making fun of journalism, we take our unspoken congratulations.
Ostrow Dentistry
School launches new identity : It likes men now, and doesn’t care who
knows!
