When polled randomly about their heterosexual lady-friends’
objects of affection, 96% of female students claimed a decisive “she could do
so much better than him!” Follow up quotes from those surveyed were illuminating about
the reasons why:
“I tell her she could do so much better every day,” one
freshman says sadly. “In a world with, like, Ryan Gosling, Orlando Bloom and Edward
Cullen, why should my friends put up with anything less?”
“I saw a documentary about love called Pirates of the Caribbean, and I don’t understand why Becca’s
putting up with anything less than a hot pirate-hero,” one junior adds.
“I saw a different documentary called Ryan Reynolds,” her classmate says. “Ryan Reynolds is so much
better than that guy she keeps seeing.”
“All the good guys are just wrapped up in these stupid
fictional idealizations of women! We’re not all Scarlett Johansson!” says one
outraged student. “And if they’d just wake up and take a look around, all the
Ryan Goslings would be our boyfriends!”
“I. Love. Ryan Gosling,” said four passing girls in unison.
If one thing is clear from this friends’-dating-pool
dissatisfaction, it’s that college guys are not Ryan Gosling ““ and these young
women aren’t going to stand for it anymore.
