Some employers look to Facebook profiles to determine a potential hire’s personality : I can’t figure out how to delete that application that put me in Hufflepuff!!

DPS detained two bike theft suspects; one was found in possession of a pair of bolt cutters and a bike that he admitted was stolen, and the second suspect was found in possession of a knife : the knife being, he was learning, an ineffective tool for stealing bikes

USC receives greater health grants due to construction of new facilities : now I ain’t sayin we a gold digger, but we’re pleased these new facilities are bringing in greater grants

Project ReMix looks at conditions for 1992 LA riots and whether they could happen again : they say kids born when most current USC students were don’t understand, but I think we came preeeetty close when Tro Gro almost stopped being open 24 hours

Viterbi/Sol Price schools train students in homeland security issues, sponsored by US Dept. of Homeland Security : film/art/English majors call their parents for reassurance

Team of ten students of various majors visits the White House to compete in energy efficiency design : the students said mixed majors were very valuable in creating a well-rounded design, and that film/art/English majors are…. adorable

Advisory committee selects top 4 candidates for dean of USC : a couple of the candidates are still held back by getting a little too drunk that first night, one just ended a cat fight by throwing up in the hot tub and they all have precious little time to win our hearts next week on SC’s Next Top Dean

DPS officers found a personal check in the back seat of a university vehicle and turned it in to DPS Lost & Found : DPS literally doesn’t know the meaning of the word “bribe”

USG drafts resolution for creating more gender-neutral bathrooms on campus. Most students support, detractors include those who feel emphasis should be placed on other issues like bikes and recycling policies : conservative values will probably keep the bike-neutral bathroom requests unheard.

Students for Sensible Drug Policy hosted a panel on pot legalization : their biggest obstacles include trying to get initiatives on the November ballot and the jokes everyone made about forgetting to go to the panel

USC ranks 1st in video game design : and we have an active weed legalization movement. Coincidence?

Weird rash of punching activity the past week : a student reported that another student punched him in the face several times during an altercation outside Sigma Chi fraternity : a student reported that a suspect punched him in the face without provocation while he was walking near Jefferson Boulevard and Figueroa Street : a student sustained a possible broken nose when another student accidentally struck him in the face rehearsing a fight scene

USC was selected as one of 20 universities in the world to participate in the U.S. Dept. of Energy’s Solar Decathlon :USC – famous for our energy innovation and our punching

This adorable lady has been a regular fixture on campus and at sporting events for over 50 years : such a shame she was punched

A student was charged with theft at the university bookstore for stealing a textbook : if there’s anything USC should have taught you, it’s that knowledge is not free

Eddie North-Hager works to combat negative image of SC neighborhood : if he’s literally combating it, maybe he should do something besides punch

A student reported that a cab driver sprayed him with pepper spray when he refused to pay his fare : keeping in theme for this week, the driver’s still working on “using his words”

Photo credit: Grace Talice Lee