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5 Reasons To Celebrate the Rain
Finally. After several weeks in the high 80s to mid 90s, the LA weather forecast not only dropped down to the usual 70s, but predicted scattered thunderstorms with a 50% chance of rain for this Thursday, otherwise known as tomorrow. “Aw man!” exclaimed some lame guy in Ray Bans next to me upon hearing the... MORE »
Graduating student realizes she missed the “weird hair window”
“I never thought I’d be someone who DIDN’t cut half my hair off and dye it red,” says Elle, a grad student finishing school in May. She has recently realized what many students do – there’s a small window in which to experiment with extreme hairstyles, after which being taken seriously by the squarer members... MORE »
USC Ruins Movies, Devastates Writer
USC has ruined movies* for me. Despite being a film major, it wasn’t the School of Cinematic Arts that destroyed the mirage Hollywood created in my pre-college days. Instead, I hold Bovard, Trousdale, Doheny, and VKC accountable. Hell, even Taper and GFS had a hand in killing the magic of movies. I present to you... MORE »
New safety mascot Kurt SC maimed in terrible biking accident
“That was fast,” recent safety mascot hire Kurt SC mumbles from his hospital bed. He picks forlornly at the sheets. “My campaign had been going for, what, two weeks?” Kurt woke up from a five day coma this afternoon, and he says his short run as campus preventative safety darling is over. He briefly considered... MORE »
Singer’s unimpressive WRIT340 grade dooms her music career
“Some misguided souls believe college letter grades to be “unimportant,'” snorts Dr. Rawls, SC’s Chair of Academic Superfluition. “Nastier rumors include the sentiments that Writings 140 and 340 “aren’t worth the time’ and “aren’t necessary for certain professions.'” He shakes his head. “Kids. These. Days.” Which is why the good Doctor doesn’t feel bad... MORE »
Lonely seniors begin to outsource exhausted dating pools
Many seniors whose sex lives extend beyond movies where Ryan Gosling takes his shirt off (like me, someday) have found themselves running out of people to date. Potential partners in extensive hand-holding/enthusiastic hugging/other things I assume people do in relationships seem to be an endangered species. “Everyone I could be interested in, I’ve either already been... MORE »
Crimes they are a-changin’… Or ARE they?
Written by Leah Folta and Lia Woodward DPS robbery reports have upsurged unsettlingly this semester, and we here at CB have noticed (napping on our desks isn’t all we do, Mom). There seem to be more robberies at more unusual times of day, and students are being put in danger over ridiculously minor personal possessions. Getting mugged at 10 AM... MORE »
SUParties and MTV for MayFest 2011!
We Are Joe Spadafino, Zack Stanek, Juan De Los Llanos, and Emily Coon. Join Us at Alpha Chi Rho Fraternity (AKa Crow) The Sickest Frat On Campus, MTV! As Our Crow Frat Friends Throw The Craziest Party For Mayfest! Thanks to Danny! These Highlights Are Just Little Things Compared To What is in Store to... MORE »