Nobody Likes Getting Books For Christmas

April 30, 2012

Disgruntled Student Passes Out and Sleeps Through Block Party…AGAIN

April 27th was no ordinary Friday for Katrina Locke; nor was it for any other Syracuse student. It was a very special Friday: the mythical day known as Mayfest. Katrina, a lover of electronic music and raspberry alcohol, had pumped herself up for weeks upon weeks over Mayfest’s arrival. “This year will be different. This... MORE »

April 16, 2012

Student OK With Sorority Girl Loving Big; Doesn’t Want It Flaunted ‘In His Face’

“I’m a reasonable man. I have no issues with a sorority girl loving her big. I get that it’s the 21st century. I’ll tell you what I do have a problem with: her shoving it in my face, and down my throat.” Said the student who wished to remain anonymous. “Okay, you love your big.... MORE »

March 17, 2012

What Syracuse Students Do on Sunday Evenings

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February 26, 2012

Poll: What Should SU do With Excess Snow Removal Money?

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February 19, 2012

Newhouse Kids Incessantly Asking Cusack and Roberts to Be in Their Movie

With the news of Emma Roberts and John Cusack filming at Syracuse University buzzing around campus, many students were interested in much more than just spotting the two stars. Allegedly, Newhouse student after Newhouse student have approached the two “Adult World” stars hoping to cast one of them as the star for their TRF class... MORE »

February 13, 2012

University Reads Memes; Fixes School

In a strange and surprising turn of events Sunday afternoon, Syracuse University announced that they would be ‘fixing’ the university in response to the popular SU memes page. “We had no idea that tuition was so high. We were positively stunned when we were informed by Scumbag Steve.” said a representative from Syracuse University. “I... MORE »

February 6, 2012

What Your SU Coffee Shop Preference Says About You

Dunkin’ Donuts by Marshall St.–So you’re a purist, eh? The one in Schine just doesn’t meet all your caffeine-related needs? I bet you complain that the Taco Bell in Kimmel “just isn’t the same.” Well, it isn’t, but it’s not like you’ve ever been there sober anyway. Starbucks on Marshall St.–Arguably the best cup of... MORE »

January 29, 2012

Ten Ways to Make Your Professor Hate You

1. On every essay exam, write 4 different ‘options’ as answers. On multiple choice exams, write long descriptions of your answer in the margins. Tell her you just don’t ‘get’ testing. 2. No matter what the subject matter is, whenever a question is asked in class, always relate your answer to Harry Potter. Hitler—>Voldemort. Jesus—>Harry.... MORE »

January 22, 2012

Ernie Davis Residents to Kill Students in “Hunger Games” Competition

In response to a recent attempt by other Syracuse dorms to overthrow the residents of the posh residence hall, Ernie Davis, a competition has been organized that will ultimately kill two residents of each of the other SU residence halls. “We really wanted to make this competition our own. There are too many humanitarian groups... MORE »

January 5, 2012

10 Ridiculously Impractical Ways to Stay Warm This Winter (Cuse)

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! Peel Otto open. Crawl inside. Burrow yourself. Were talking two birds here: food and warmth. Let the force be with you. Pay a group of freshmen... MORE »

December 28, 2011

What Your New Years Plans Say About You (Cuse)

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! College students, behold, one of the best creations our society has bestowed upon us: New Years Eve. Alas, the day in which we ring in the new... MORE »

December 22, 2011

The History of the Christmas Sweater (Cuse)

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite!Top Reasons Why The Christmas Sweater Was Invented So that there was one weekend of Winter that girls could go out and party without freezing their asses... MORE »

December 11, 2011

Is it Finals Week Yet at Syracuse?

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December 6, 2011

Just Your Average AST 101 Slide

I promise I only giggled a little. MORE »

December 4, 2011

Why Your R.A. Hates You

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December 2, 2011

Westboro Baptist Church to Protest Fab Melo’s Hair at the Carrier Dome

In a strange turn of events on Friday afternoon, the Westboro Baptist Church announced that they were not going to be protesting over the Bernie Fine scandal at Syracuse, but would instead be picketing Fab Melo’s new haircut. Westboro Baptist Church is known for its offensive and ultra-conservative politics. “His haircut is strange, it makes... MORE »

November 26, 2011

Which Syracuse University College Should You Go To?

In flow chart form. MORE »

November 21, 2011 1 Comment

UC System To Begin Routine Beatings of Students

After the events that occurred on UC Davis’s and Berkeley’s campuses this past month, many people expected that the universities would strive to protect their reputations through support for peaceful protests and apologies for their resident police departments’ actions. Not the case. In fact, the UC system announced today that it would begin routine beatings... MORE »

November 20, 2011

What SU Students Think While Walking To Class

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November 15, 2011

Student Association Cuts Funding for Syracuse University

In an unexpected turn of events this week–and likely an unapologetic publicity stunt to remind students that Student Association exists so that they’ll vote for president–Student Association has cut the budget for Syracuse University itself. Robert Rane, the University official who was assigned to attend the meeting to acquire funding for the University,... MORE »

Rebecca Black to Headline at Movin' On

"Keep Calm and Carry On" - New Anti-Diarrhea Slogan

NCAA Chair Far Too Devious When Asked If Pleased with Final Four

Students Ask For More Easy A Classes

Vacation!

Crazy Hazing Stories

Posting Your Article: The Emotional Turmoil of a Campus Basement Writer

The Pizza Place

Nobody Likes Getting Books For Christmas

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