On Sunday night, the Final Four was revealed in full. The winner of Kentucky v. UConn will take on the winner of Virginia Commonwealth v. Butler. In essence, this means that the final game will feature a basketball powerhouse versus an underdog.

Inevitably, this final game will be very similar to last year’s matchup between Duke and Butler, which conveniently pulled in almost 17 million viewers for CBS. For those unfamiliar with how television works, 17 millions viewers equates, approximately, to a shit-ton of money.

Things got even fishier during a press conference Sunday when Eugene Smith, Chair of the NCAA selection committee, was asked if the selection committee scripts the outcomes of games and the tournament as a whole.

“Noooo”¦” said Smith, shifting his eyes back and forth. “The games are totally determined by the play of those kids,” added Smith, barely concealing a chuckle. “What could we possibly do? Figure out which team’s presence in the Final Four would give us the best TV ratings using a carefully plotted algorithm designed by a scientist in a lab at MIT in April 2003 and make sure to bribe the refs with $17,842 each to ensure that team’s victory?”

“I resent the accusation,” said Smith.

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