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Happy Thanksgiving
Picture by
emcorbet
November 25, 2010 at 10:06 am
A Little Dilemma
Thanksgiving Break is finally upon us, it is a time for Syracuse students to go home for a week and recover. We all appreciate the opportunity to eat something other than ramen noodles, do laundry for the second time this semester, visit our middle school ex’s, and if we have... MORE »
Best Articles, Comments, and Poems From Cuse in 2010
As the year draws to a close, we at Syracuse Basement (aka The Artist Formerly Known as CuseMyCampus) just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you out there in the webisphere who take the time to read our jokes. Maybe you do it because you think they’re funny, maybe you do it... MORE »
With Four Loko Ban Date Approaching, Scientists Already Working on Other Ways to Kill Selves
The last day which liquor stores may sell alcoholic energy drink Four Loko in stores is fast approaching. On December 10th, all Four Loko cans remaining on shelves must be disposed of. College students across the state are in a frenzy, buying up case after case of Four Loko, in preparation for Four Loko Prohibition.... MORE »
Newly-Single Freshman Loses Confidence in Record Thirty Seconds
Sam Harper is feeling good. He’s free. Two days ago, he announced to the press and the Facebook community that he had broken up with his high school girlfriend of two years, Kristen Shaw. Now Harper, sans-girlfriend, is “out on the prowl again,” as he characterizes it. “It just had to happen, man,” He tells... MORE »
Thanksgiving Break Burglar Overwhelmed by New Selection of Video Games
Local Syracuse burglar Paul Smith hit it big last weekend when the university’s student body all headed to their respective homes for Thanksgiving break. Knowing that this would leave nearly every campus apartment empty, Smith capitalized on the opportunity to break into as many student residences as possible in order to expand his rather limited... MORE »
All Students Drop Out Over Thanksgiving Break
“What the hell is going on?” Professor Tim Studdard whispered to himself as he walked into his Sophomore Biology section early this morning. This was a Monday just like every Monday before, except something was not quite right; No students were present in Studdards’ 300 seat Bio lecture. Professors all over Syracuse University were facing... MORE »
80s Block Party
classy MORE »
In Moral Quandary, Man Decides Not to Skip Class, Is Idiot
Thomas Aquinas, a sophomore philosophy major, woke up Tuesday morning with a dilemma. “I was feeling not so great, but not awful either, the weather was really shitty outside, I really just didn’t want to go to class,” Aquinas said. He also believed that his 9:30 class would probably be having a quiz, which he... MORE »
Three reasons moving out of a dorm makes you want to rip apart the student body
1) For all you Resident Advisors, I’ve been there. I get it. You have to close this campus down and invariably there will be some asshole who doesn’t want to leave the dorm by 6pm Sunday afternoon which means you won’t get out of here until long after your sanity and patience have skidaddled. More... MORE »
Hillary Clinton visits campus; SU jizzes itself
Well unless you’ve managed to block Twitter, Facebook, RSS Feeds (do people still use these?), your school email, OTN, the DO, and the bulletin boards around campus in an effort to increase your pre-finals productivity (LOLZ jk, we see through your attempts), then here’s the scoop: Today, at 12pm, in Hendricks Chapel, Hillary Clinton provided... MORE »
How the evil universe views college students
Dear non-seniors, It has come to our attention that the most recently graduating class of 2012 did not pay enough for college. While most SU students spent approximately $200,000 on their education, we now deem this is not enough. (Which honestly surprised us – we originally anticipated that charging students roughly $20 per meal at... MORE »
Otherwise aimless students find self-purpose in dissent against UU
Ah, college. Since freshman year, we’ve been surrounded by so many resources, so many options. So many minds filled with thoughts of wonder, inspiration, and encouragement to make the future world a better world by saving the seals, protecting the rainforests, fighting for gender equality, or simply convincing people to switch to CFL light bulbs.... MORE »
Students prepare for re-release of Titanic with nauseating techniques
“She won’t stop singing,” says Maxwell Tully, junior in Whitman and boyfriend of Rachel Lough who recently purchased a boombox circa 1997 and the original Titanic soundtrack and has been belting Celine Dion for the past two weeks straight. “I clearly couldn’t use my iPod,” Lough says, “they didn’t exist in 1997 – YOU’RE HEEERREEE!... MORE »
Students Mourn Tournament Loss with “Mad Men” Premiere
“I couldn’t stop grieving,” Sam Bolindy said, Chucks pitcher still in hand since Saturday night. “I needed to ease my pain. I knew I had to move on, but I didn’t know how.” And that’s when Bolindy traded his pitcher of $4 beer in for an Old Fashioned early Sunday and drowned his sorrows in... MORE »
Victims of Instagram cite disappointment with spring break photos as symptom
“I was having the time of my life, yknow? Off on the beaches of Puerto Rico, thinking all these inevitably gorgeous pictures I am taking will surely come out wonderfully…And then, I looked back at them and I couldn’t believe my eyes.” What junior Felicity Coughman is describing is a recent affliction among iPhone/iPad and... MORE »
Three reasons drinking alone is better than going to a bar on Marshall St
I’d like to state that I am not an alcoholic. But I do like a good drink. What I don’t like is going down to DJs/Chucks/Lucys/Flip Night and waiting for seemingly decades to get to the bar only to find out their drink selection is based on lackluster liquor and even shittier beer. Why bother?... MORE »
Cuse Weekend in a Box!
Feeling like you really want to head to the bars this weekend but don’t have the oomph? Can’t justify the trek from Ackerman to Faegans in the chilly temps? Wish you could simply have the Chucks experience in your living room? Then fear no more ““ Campus Basement is here to service you (and your... MORE »
After dining hall prices increase, students expect Marshall St cuisine in Ernie Davis
If you thought school was expensive when you enrolled at Syracuse University, think again – the prices have just gone up. Meal plans are slated to average $3,120 per 14 week semester for the 2012-2013academic year. “I did the math,” sophomore Jeremy Lukeidis said. “If I could spend the money on the food I want... MORE »
Three Epic Wins in One Week But…
I don’t know a lot about sports. I get the gist of it, but beyond that, the hype and the hoopla usually bore me. That being said, I support our basketball team as much as the next orange-clad fan and attend the games, yell Scoop’s name, and jump for joy when we beat the shit... MORE »
A Breakdown of Winter Weather Habits
This Syracusean winter (or lack thereof) has certainly been weird to say the least. No snow on the ground and warm, sunny days in February? Nice try, 315, cut the shit. While we’re sure these are the early signs of the 2012 apocalypse, in your remaining time before the world ends, find out what your... MORE »
Shit Syracuse Students Say
A Syracusean parody of Shit People Say brought to you by the Campus Basement: Syracuse Staff (including writer and actress Nicole Grabert!) with assistance from Ashlie Daubert and Anne Marie Suchanek. Looks like The Newshouse has their own version of Shit Syracuse Girls Say. Watch it! It’s really funny. MORE »
Follett’s Bookstore closing; Managers presumably now among the 1%
In spite of Occupy Wall Street and other “Occupy” movements that have cited the growing discrepancies in the distribution of wealth, it appears the 99% have lost additional fellow comrades: Follets Bookstore is closing in February as its managers and owners have set their eyes on trading in their 99% working class attire for new... MORE »
In response to Notre Dame’s win, Syracuse students deny Irish heritage
Following a record-breaking season, Syracuse basketball lost its first game tonight against the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. “We’re protesting,” senior James O’Conner says. “Anyone of Irish descent is officially changing said heritage tonight.” With that, O’Conner immediately crossed off his name on his student ID to Ezekial Monora. “I really didn’t know what wasn’t Irish,... MORE »
To the Syracuse University graduating class of 2012….
Ah, the dawn of a spring semester at Syracuse University ““ a time when spring itself is nothing but a thought over yonder, behind the mile-high snow banks and record-breaking wind chills. A time when students return to campus and thus, rejoice in their awaiting academia, frolicking to the thought of cold nights spent curled... MORE »
Best Pranks to Play On Your Roommates If You Get to School Before Them (Cuse)
This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! 1. Cover the room in sand and bring in a new roommate. Tell them they’ve been voted off the island. 2. Set up a live studio... MORE »
Sex and Health: A response to the recent DO column
Following the recent highly-researched and well-articulated Daily Orange column, the dynamics of Syracuse University students and their sexual relations have dramatically shifted. While once upon a time, all undergrads were created equally ““ each frolicking in the unmade bed of another ““ now it seems, each student must adhere to the social and romantic protocol... MORE »
Additional tours added to SU for current and incoming students to see Michael Jordan’s daughter’s room
Greeting current or incoming students! Are you tired or bored with the same ole, same ole that SU has shown you? Are you frustrated with ho-hum tours that only reveal inaccurate depictions of dorm room sizes, dining hall food, and expensive classroom materials that you will pay for but never be allowed to use? Are... MORE »
Screening passes to Bad Teacher!!
Are you in Syracuse for the summer? Are you looking for something exciting to do this month? (Psst – Faegan’s is closed on the weekends during summer and DJ’s is closed for the entire summer What are we going to do with ourselves?!.) Well then, look no further! Brought to you by Columbia... MORE »