Rent us!MAHWAH, NJ—Announcing its plan to offer short-term, affordable pencil rentals for RoadRunners who don’t own pencils of their own, Apathetic College Inc. launched a brand-new pencil-sharing service earlier this Fall.

According to company officials, Apathetic College’s inaugural inventory consists of 24 pencils for the whole campus, providing students with the option to rent pencils by the hour or day.

“A huge perk of being an upperclassmen is avoiding the effort and hassles of remembering to bring stuff to class,” Apathetic College chairman and CEO Matt Potter said at the opening of the company’s supplies-rental hub in the far corner of J Lee’s. “But as all students know, there are times when you just really need a something to write with. That’s why we’re thrilled to launch Apathetic College as a convenient alternative to pencil ownership.”

“Whether your class is in ASB, you’re President of a Club and need to write meeting notes, or just want to scribble on your desk for a little while, Apathetic College has a pencil for you,” continued Potter, adding that costs range from $0.50 per hour for a traditional, wooden pencil to $1.25 for a mechanical pencil. “And with our convenient iPhone app and center-of-campus rental location, picking up and returning your pencils is easier than ever.”

Potter said the Apathetic College rental process consists of three simple steps: First, customers visit and apply for membership. Second, they receive their ApathyCard in the mail, with which they can book their pencils online or by phone, choosing their preferred pencil type. And lastly, Apathetic College clients show up at the J Lee’s Apathy rental station and pick up their pencil, which they will return to the exact same spot at the end of their reservation.

Members can also purchase pencil tip insurance for an additional fee.

“Say you already own a pencil, but one day you lose it,” Apathetic College spokesperson Peter Jones said. “Or you just want to impress that girl in your class by showing up with a fancy limited edition Ticonderoga. We’ve got it all.”

Ramapo College freshman Tim Parker told reporters that while he usually has no need for a pencil, there are still occasions when one would certainly come in handy.

“My roommate has lots of pencils on campus, but you have to know someone pretty well before asking to borrow their pencil,” said Parker, adding that he had a pencil during high school but it was essentially his mom and dad’s pencil. “Plus, I would feel horrible if something happened to it, even if it wasn’t my fault.”

While the business is reportedly thriving, it’s not without its critics.

“Sometimes the pencils are real clunkers,” said former Apathetic College customer Juan Hernendez, adding that his pencil broke in half in the middle of an exam last week. “The pencil just couldn’t handle the grip I use for my Calculus tests. It’s just a really terrible feeling when you’re in the middle of a derivation and your pencil dies on you.”

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